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Xiaojun Chap

"Hi..." Xiaojun said softly walked into Yangyang's dorm, immediately climbing onto his bed and lying on the younger.

"Hi, Junnie. I thought you had homework?" He asked as he brought a hand up to gently run through Xiaojun's hair.

Propping his chin up on Yangyang's chest, he nodded, "I do, but I just can't stop thinking."

"About what?" The younger asked patiently.

A small sigh came out of Xiaojun, "Can you just listen while I try to sort this out?"

Yangyang nodded, "I'm not very good at being quiet, but I can try my best."

"Well—I guess I need your help to figure this out so you don't have to be quiet," Xiaojun explained. "Do you...do you still have any sort of feelings for Hendery?"

The younger tensed up at the question, not knowing what type of trap this was supposed to be. "Xiao...I'm dating you," he said cautiously.

Letting out a small sigh, he nodded, "Yes, I know that. I just...before I talk about any of this—be honest, do you still have feelings for Hendery."

"No. I'm not mad at him anymore, but we just weren't right for each other," Yangyang said quietly. There was a fleeting feeling in his stomach as he whispered, "Do you?"

Xiaojun just shrugged, "He hurt me...he hurt you...it would be dumb if I still had feelings for him."

Yangyang swallowed the lump in his throat as he ran a gentle hair through the elder's soft hair. "But you do, don't you?"

"Yangyang..." Xiaojun started, his eyes filling with tears the second he opened his mouth, "I'm in love with you."

Quickly sitting them both up, he brought his hands up to wipe away Xiaojun's tears. "I don't think you are, Xiao, but it's okay." He put on his bravest smile before continuing, "I see the way you look at him. We tried, but we didn't work. You want to be with Hendery, and you should be. I'm never going to hold you back from being happy, and it's not your fault if it's not with me."

"He cheated on me...I want to be with you!" Xiaojun sobbed, moving his hands so he could grasp onto the younger.

"Hey, look at me," Yangyang urged, "Yes, he cheated on you, but he's different. I didn't tell you, but he apologized to me he told me why he did what he did and I forgave him, you should too. That boy has so much love for you, and if anybody deserves a second chance, it's him." Placing his hands on either side of the elder's face, Yangyang looked into the eyes of his boyfriend for one last time, "I wouldn't be okay with this if I thought he was going to hurt you again. You can be with him, Xiao, it's okay."

"I'm sorry..." Xiaojun whispered.

Yangyang leaned forward and pressed a light kiss onto the elder's forehead, "You don't have to be sorry. Go and be happy, Xiaojun." Even though Yangyang's voice was smooth and steady, he was so close to breaking down.

Although hesitant, he nodded. "Thank you...thank you for everything," Xiaojun said softly.

The second the elder had walked though the door, Yangyang broke into tears. It wasn't his fault that things didn't work out, but it still hurt. He had known from the beginning that their relationship was fucked from the start, but he held onto it for some odd reason.

All he hoped for was Xiaojun's happiness. He would've done that a million times over just to see him smile. 

✨✨✨

"Hi," Xiaojun said quietly as he walked up to the all familiar park bench Hendery liked to sit on between his classes.

Hendery looked up from his phone and quickly scooted over so the boy could sit, "Hey..."

"Me and Yangyang broke up," The elder said bluntly as he stared out into the lake in front of them.

"Shit...I'm sorry, Xiao. Are you okay?" There was genuine concern in his voice as he spoke.

Xiaojun shrugged, "We ended things because I'm in love with somebody else."

Although Hendery was worried about the boy, it stung that yet another opportunity was taken away from him as he was already in love with somebody else. "Well I hope things work out with him."

"It's you..." Xiaojun whispered so quietly the younger almost didn't hear him, "I think I'm ready to give us another chance if you still want to."

It was hard to describe what exactly the younger was feeling in that moment. "Yes!" He said almost too excitedly before clearing his throat, "I mean...if you're willing to give me another chance...yes!"

A small laugh slipped past Xiaojun's lips as he looked at the boy in front of him. Even though Hendery did some shitty things, they'd taken the time away from each other to grow in the ways they needed to.

"Can I...kiss you?" Hendery asked softly while he looked into the eyes he missed so much. When Xiaojun nodded, he wasted no time pressing their lips together in a gentle, almost hesitant kiss. Their relationship was a hard thing to understand, but the love they shared for each other wasn't. "I'm so sorry I hurt you," Hendery said when they pulled apart, his eyes full of tears.

Xiaojun sent the boy a small smile, "I forgive you. You don't have to apologize anymore." 

"I'm never letting go of you again," Hendery whispered as he reached over to grab one of  Xiaojun's hands and intertwine their fingers. 

———

Sad but happy I don't even know what to feel 

Thanks for reading 

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