What A Joke [SLOW UPDATES]

Eh...

"Hahaha, of course not!!" Izuku laughed awkwardly. "I was too busy walking to  the convenience store." The greenette thought that just maybe he could convince them that he wasn't stabbed or hit by a car, but of course Hitoshi just had to speak up.

"But you were there. The girl stabbed you with a knife. She stabbed you . . . how are you even standing?"

"Oh trust me dude, I'm just barely standing." That probably wasn't the best thing to say next to an underground hero and two police officers.

"Okay, maybe it was me, but look—I'm fine!" Izuku spun around clumsily to show how his bloody body was still intact.

"Let me get this straight. In the last couple hours, you have been stabbed and hit by a car." The detective groaned while rubbing his eyes. "How much caffeine do you have in your system?"

"YOU WERE HIT BY A CAR?!" The underground hero and purple haired teen yelled in disbelief.

"I may have been the one hit by the car, but you should be more worried about the driver." The greenette's words were filled with menace and hate so strong, it sent shivers down the spines of those listening,

"Did you die both times?" The underground hero asked with a sigh.

"What do you mean did he die?" The cat officer spoke at last.

Aizawa ignored the question and instead glared at the greenette, who was fiddling nervously like a child caught stealing candy. "I—uh . . . no?" It came out as a question instead of an answer.

"It's been two days since I've seen you and you've died multiple times already."

"Wow, has it really been that short since we've met? It feels more like weeks since we've met. Damn, the author really has to write faster."

The ground stared at the greenette in confusion, but decided not to ask. They have all already come to terms with his lack of sanity.

The detective was confused and scared. "When you say he died, do you mean like he literally . . . died?"

"What else do you think 'dying' would mean?" Izuku asks.

"I don't know, maybe, like, dying inside?"

"Ha, that's cute! But I was never alive inside." Izuku deadpanned.

Hitoshi had enough of listening to the greenette and adults bicker, so he decided to ask questions that will actually get them somewhere. "Is it your quirk?"

Izuku stared at him for a long moment, lost in thought. Was it his quirk? The doctor said he would never have a quirk. Plus, this quirk hasn't helped him at all. So, what is it? "No, I'm quirkless."

"What? But I thought you said it was a quirk?" The underground hero thought back to when he first met the kid. He is positive he has a quirk.

"He's not lying . . ." The detective listened closely for the familiar beep that sounds to him when someone lies, but it was silent.

"I am so confused." Actually, Hitoshi was pretty sure he was beyond confused at this point. What was happening? The same boy who he had seen being stabbed was standing in front of Hitoshi. And what more, he was apparently hit by a car . . . like what? And now the boy was talking about how he was quirkless.

"Well, I'm quirkless but I am also cursed." Izuku states this like it was entirely common. The group listening were all glaring at the boy, obviously not having it. "Let me extend on that. The world seems to hate me and now it has cursed me to be unable to die at the cause of impact and blood loss. I guess there is the possibility I can't die from other things too, like overdosing, drowning, burning to death, being stuck in a position that keeps my bones from healing and—" Izuku cut himself off once he saw the expressions that the group around him were making.