Infinity

| 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚍

It's been seven days since North left. More like they took him away from me, but you get the point.

In these seven days I've felt almost every emotion you can think of. Anger, frustration. Sadness, disgust, brief happiness, and even at one point I was completely emotionless.

The first few days, all I did was cry, I locked myself in my room and didn't go out for three whole days. I cried so much, and screamed, and threw things around, and then cried some more. I had gotten so weak, lost the majority of my appetite and avoided my family all day. I walked around in my dark room, in the same clothes, not bothering to change and walked around with bags under my eyes.

North crossed my mind very often, my heart turned in my chest at the thought. The third day, I hadn't thought about him for a while in the morning, but just as I thought that, I scolded myself by thinking of him again. I was going nowhere, I was weak and was not in the mood for absolutely anything.

I acknowledged my parents knocking on my door expecting me to open, but I pretended not to hear them as I layed on my bed, my mind swarmed with thoughts regarding my beloved stallion.

I would catch myself at moments with my heart beating faster, like if someone was pressing down in my chest. My jaw clenching and my hands shaking. The anger I had bottled up in me made me go crazy. Didn't even try to suppress it more, I let it out. I screamed profanities echoing around my now lifeless room. I threw my pillows on the floor, my hair covering my eyes at the harsh movements, where I fell back to the floor, salty tears running down my flushed cheeks. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. My whole body rocked, I was shaking, dry sobs coming out.

I cried so much, I felt weaker than ever, my whole body ached, my mind was clouded by anger, hurt and memories. The tears stopped falling at one point, and I just sat there feeling sorry for myself, and beating myself up for sulking for three days straight. I always hated crying, hated feeling vulnerable, much less showing it.

Guilt crept up on me, bringing a new set of tears ran down my cheeks. I was mad at myself for not doing anything, if I hadn't come to lock myself up in my room to cry, I could have maybe found out where North was before it was too late, but I was weak, and I ran. Apparently I was an expert at that, running. Running from my problems, running from what was actually going to happen, making it all come crashing down on me one way or the other.

He was long gone now, for all I knew North was half the world away, and I could do absolutely nothing. Even with this guilt, and how hurt I felt, I didn't stand up, I just let my hands run through my tousled hair, letting out a skaly breath before closing my eyes in an attempt to call myself down.

He was gone.

My head was thumping, all I heard was my frenzied heartbeat and my struggled breaths. I felt someone wrap their arms around me, someone who had sat by me. I didn't feel like opening my eyes, I couldn't. I just lay there, eventually letting myself fall onto whoever was holding me, and let my tears fall quietly.

After a bit, whoever was holding me started running their fingers through my hair, calming me slightly. They stroked my hair softly, hesitating about before moving my blond hair out of my face, probably afraid that I would push them away. When I didn't even flinch, they moved all the hair out of my face and ran their fingers softly through my hair before rubbing my back comfortably.

With my eyes closed, I didn't make out who he or she was, and just let them hold me. I don't have the energy to push them away at this point, so I didnt move. I sat there, in the embrace of whoever was by me, and let myself calm down. The tears were no longer falling and I wasn't shaking anymore. My mind was blank, and I just sat there, letting out hollow breaths. Whoever was by me broke the silence with a  soft whisper.