Forgotten

Part 61

"I'm just concerned that she may try to take advantage of your friendship, and even do something fucked up, like try to make a move on you."

She quickly shook her head.  "That's ridiculous.  She wouldn't do that."

"I'm not sure about that, Lexi.  I've seen the way she looks at you.  And I don't like it."

She shook her head again.  "It's not like that, Nichole.  Whatever you think you've seen her do or whatever you've heard about her, none of it's true.  She's not like that."

I didn't say anything.  Because again, I didn't want to start an argument.  "I just want you to be careful around her, Alexis.  That's all I'm saying.   Until you know her better."

"Why are you acting like this?" she shot back. 

"Acting like what?"

"Like I can't even have a friend?"

"I'm not saying you can't have a friend.  I'm just saying be careful."

She glared at me, but didn't say anything.

"What?" I asked, shrugging my shoulders.

"So, now you're saying I have bad judgment?!"

"No!" I quickly said, shaking my head.  "I'm not saying that at all."  Then, I thought about it for a minute.  "Alexis. Why do you care so much about this?  You don't even know her."

"You don't get it do you?"

I looked at her blankly, confused at what she was talking about.

"It's not about her."

I furrowed my eyebrows together, still not having any clue what she was talking about.  "Then what is it about?  What are you talking about?"

She glared at me.

"What?"

"You know I don't have a lot of friends, Nichole.  All I was trying to do was to make a friend.  That's all.  And you had to ruin it."

Then all of a sudden, it hit me - why she was so upset.  And in a lot of ways, it was true.  She didn't have a lot of friends.  Mostly because it was hard for her to trust people.  And to open up.  I mean, sure Alyssa was her friend, but that was different.  She was my sister.  And it was pretty much a controlled situation.  In fact, the more I thought about it, it was me who was doing the controlling.  And if I had to be honest, I liked her being friends with Alyssa because I knew Alyssa and knew what to expect.  And I guess in a lot of ways, I felt like it was a safe situation for Lexi.  And maybe for me too.  

I suddenly felt guilty.  And completely selfish.  Maybe what she was saying was true.  Maybe all she really was doing was trying to make friends.  Maybe she was just trying to put herself out there.  And to take another step toward being independent.  Which is what I had always wanted for her.  

"Alexis, I'm really sorry.  I didn't mean to make you think you couldn't have friends.  That's not my intention at all.  I want you to have friends.  I really do."

"Then why did you act like that?" she said, obviously still upset at me.

"I don't know.  I guess I didn't realize.  I just wasn't thinking.  But I do want you to have friends, Alexis.  That's not it at all."

Her face softened a little, as I could tell she was feeling a little better about the situation.  After all, maybe it was all just a fucked up misunderstanding. 

"Then why did you act like that, Nichole?"

"Babe, it's not that I don't want you to have friends."  Then I thought about it.  "It's just that..."