Don't Mask, Don't Tell

Chapter 26

"I see."

Really, that's it? That's all you're going to give me?

Axel stares expressionless at his empty wine glass for a few minutes before scooting his chair out and picking up the dinner plates. Without saying a word, he stoically carries them to the kitchen, leaving me sitting at the table alone.

He doesn't have the right to be mad right now. Does he? I mean yes—I did eavesdrop on his private conversation and keep it from him, but he's hiding shit from me. Serious shit. I'm allowed to be mad. Aren't I?

Feeling a mixture of turmoil and frustration, I get up and follow him into the kitchen. He stands over the sink washing dishes, looking withdrawn.

What the fuck is happening?

"Are you mad at me?" I ask apprehensively, hoping to avoid further confrontation.

"No."

One word reply—cool.

"Axel, can you please tell me what's going on? We said no lies between us."

"You also said you didn't need to know about my past," he responds calmly, not looking up from the sink.

I rush over to him and shut off the faucet, but he remains frozen, glaring at the soapy water. Moving between him and the kitchen counter, I try to force him to let me in.

Tell me what's going on.

Cupping his stubbled cheeks in my hands, I lower his face, bringing his eyes to meet mine. "Can you at least look at me?"

His cold, sharp gaze echoes his flat expression and those golden hues that I've come to love now cloud with confusion.

Feeling a pit form in my stomach, I know something's wrong. Axel has a great poker face, but his eyes almost always give away his secrets. But right now, I'm getting nothing. He's giving me nothing.

"I know I said I don't need to know about your past, but whatever happened seems to be affecting our present. It's affecting us."

"Well, maybe there shouldn't be an us," he says blatantly, his neutral tone unchanged.

Feeling suffocated by his callous remark, I struggle to respond as my lids fill with tears, threatening to spill over. I force a stuttered whisper, "Y-you don't mean that..."

"Maybe, I do. It's the only way I know how to keep you safe, Olivia."

He says my name with such indifference, like we are meeting for the first time. Like we are suddenly strangers.

"Keep me safe from what?"

Silence.

"Axel! Keep me safe from what?" I repeat myself, raising my voice in a cracked yell, hearing my pain leave my lips.

Don't shut me out.

He remains quiet, impassively staring, appearing detached. But for a brief moment something flickers in his dark gaze. I see something in his eyes—through his eyes.

Sadness. Regret. Fear.

I know he doesn't want to walk away from this. If I wasn't looking straight at him, I wouldn't have seen this small glimpse of his pain. But, I'm looking and I see it.

"If you don't want to be with me because you don't want to fucking be with me—that's fine, but if you don't want to be with me because you're protecting me, than I deserve to know what the fuck you're protecting me from."

"Olivia..." His voice breaks and he takes a deep breath before continuing, "These people are fucking dangerous. I can't have anything happen to you."

"What people are dangerous?"

Silence.

"Does this have to do with your arrest? Is it someone from prison?"

Silence.

"Can you tell me anything at all?"

Silence.

"Fine, have it your way." I race out of the kitchen and down the hall, headed for the front door. Grabbing my purse and phone, I order a car.

"Wait, Olivia—don't go."

So now he speaks.

Axel grabs my hand, fighting his own internal battle to shield me by pushing me away. His eyes now reveal his cards as he seeks absolution, practically begging for me to stay, and I almost do.

Almost.