Depression || Dadzawa || BakuDeku || Bakugo x Midoriya || Depressed Deku

||Chapter 30 (2)||

"Please Kacchan. Please if you hear me squeeze my hand." I waited patiently for some sort of reaction while staring into Kacchan's face.
"Please," I whispered once more.

Suddenly I felt a light squeeze on my hand and jumped up. "Oh my god!"
I covered my mouth in shock with my other hand and asked him to do it one more time.

"Kacchan? I'm sorry but can you do it once more please?" I waited 20 seconds and felt another squeeze. This time it was tighter.

"Oh god," I whispered "I can't believe it."

I was now covering Kacchan's hand with both of mine, trying to show him that I'm here for him.

"Please.. wake up.. I want you to respond to me, not only lie there. Please, I love you."
I stood up and laid next to Kacchan into the bed on top of the blanket. I cuddled myself into Kacchan's side and grabbed his hand again.

"Are you okay with me lying here? One squeeze if you are," almost immediately I got a really tight squeeze in response and had to chuckle with tears of sadness in my eyes.
"You're doing great Kacchan. Please continue to fight for me."

I was rubbing his rough hands until I started to doze off. Before I fully fell asleep I said one more thing.
"See you later."

____________________________________

Time skip, 2 hours later, Kacchan's POV:

What is happening?

I noticed that I was lying in a bed, there was a bit of weight resting on me.

Something is tickling my nose.

It took me a lot of energy when I was finally able to open my eyes.
It was really bright in the room so I had to blink a bunch of times until my eyes adjusted to the brightness in the room.

I looked down on me and saw green hair and a fragile body.

Deku.

He was holding my hand in his sleep. His grip was really tight and I decided to not move my hand away from him.
I took my other hand instead and booped Deku's nose lightly.
It was an exhausting movement but worth the reaction.

Deku started to mumble around and woke up little by little. He stretched his feet and touched his nose.
"Did someone just-"
He looked up at my face and saw that my eyes were open.

Deku's gaze got stuck on me.

"Kacchan? Is this a dream?" He was still holding my hand and I felt him trembling.

"No," it was a quiet and raspy voice that came out of my mouth through the oxygen mask and Deku immediately plopped down on my body, grabbing me tightly. I took off the mask.

"K-Kacchan. I thought you were about to die! D-Don't scare me like t-that anymore," his voice was shaking as if he was about to cry.

"Oi, don't cry Deku. I already promised you that I'll stay with you forever. So don't cry. I'm here and I'm alive, okay?"

I stroke Deku's hair a bit.

"Can we stay like this for a while?" he asked as he was lying on my chest.

"Of course. As long as you want my dear," I replied.

Probably 15 minutes of silence went by, it wasn't an awkward silence though, it was comfortable to be quiet and just listen to each other's breathing.

I was thinking about the things that happened when I was unconscious. I couldn't remember much but I knew that Deku was telling me about his struggles.

After trying to remember everything he said I decided to speak up about it.

"Oi Deku?"

"Hmm?"

"I just wanted to tell you that you don't deserve to die, you are worth living... You are worthy my love, you are worth even more if I'm being honest. I don't want you to think that you are not worth it, because that's a lie. I love you. Please never leave me and I won't leave you. I'll be with you as long as you want and need me. You are amazing, you know that? I can understand that you are tired and exhausted of life, but please don't leave because of it. I don't want you to leave the world without giving me a chance to help you try again properly. I promise I'll make things okay again for you. You might not believe me right now and I know this sounds like an empty promise but I swear to god. I'll to everything for you. But in order to make that possible you have to keep living for me. I want to show you how beautiful life can be and how beautiful you are. If I could, I would take away all your pain. I love you Izuku."

"I love you too Katsuki," Deku said quietly.

I looked down at Deku and saw that he was crying a bit. I stroke his head and kissed it afterwards.

"I told you to not cry, didn't I?" I chuckled slightly and inspected my boyfriend's body.

He was cute, of course, but he looked extremely exhausted and tired aswell.

My eyes wandered to his hands.

"Deku?"

"Yeah?"

I took a deep breath.
"Are you injured?" I asked.

Deku flinched and his body tensed up. He didn't dare to say anything and I just took it as a yes.

"See, I'm not mad, I'm also not disappointed, I'm really not. Don't be scared to tell me what happened. I want you to feel safe with me," I calmly told him.

Deku was fidgeting with my hands and opened his mouth.

"I was scared of losing you," he tried to collect himself and told me the whole story.

"I was in the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.. For some reason I got really angry at myself, you know?"

Suddenly I felt the urge to protect Deku's body, so I covered him with my blanket.

He was surprised by it but continued to tell his story.

"I got angry because I thought that it was my fault that you were dying. Of course I didn't want you to and I never will want it. I just wished it was me who was sick and not you. You're my everything."

"You're my everything too," I replied and listened to his words again.

"That's why I punched the mirror out of anger. It shattered and the voice in my head told me to cut myself with the pieces that were lying on the floor. So I did it.. It's now a deep and actually really long cut. I'm sure it'll leave a nasty scar there. Another ugly scar on my body I can look at."

"Hey, Izuku. Don't call your scars ugly. Of course you don't have to think that they are pretty or anything but please don't call them ugly. They are marks on your body which show that you won wars. I notice every day how you struggle to get through life and I'm glad you're still here with me."

"Me too. I'm glad that you're still here. I'm glad that you're alive too and that I can see you living. I love you Kacchan."

"I love you too Deku, you're my lovely nerd and only mine," I kissed his head and in response Deku pulled himself right in front of my face and kissed me on the lips. He backed away afterwards and looked me in my face with his red, puffy eyes but with a loving gaze.

"I missed you."

"Me too," I replied.