Light Of My Life

A Day Out

The door opens behind her and Devyn straightens up quickly but relaxes when she sees JJ's figure in the mirror. "Hey, sorry, just uh...needed a minute."

"No, I understand," JJ nods, that little smile still pulling her lips back. "I remember when I was pregnant with Henry. Chinese food always got to me, funny enough. It sucked because the team always felt the need to order is when we were on a case."

Devyn's shakes her head before JJ finishes talking, her mind reeling with a thousand different thoughts. "I'm not-" She goes to say, ready to laugh off the whole ordeal but she stops, her hand rising to rest on her lower stomach. "Pregnant." She whispers and looks down.

The dizzy spell that hits Devyn has her hand reaching out for the sink again. She takes a deep breath, only noticing JJ's hand rubbing up and down her back when she releases the air from her lungs.

"Everything just became so unbelievingly clear," Devyn whispers and closes her eyes, her back leaning against the counter.

"Yeah, that'll happen," JJ chuckles, hand resting on Devyn's shoulder. "You should still take a test."

"Yeah," Devyn nods in agreement. "Would you uh..." She trails off and peeks up at the blonde through her hair. "Would you...like, stay with me? I don't really, have anyone else."

"Of course," JJ nods, face more serious now than before. Devyn knows both the women outside would agree to stay by her side in a heartbeat but...well, JJ's a mother and she's already here. It just feels right. "Whatever you need."

"I don't want to tell Spencer," Devyn says a little too quickly and shakes her head. "That came out wrong. I mean, not until I know for sure."

"He'll be happy, you know," JJ assures the younger woman, trying to ease her obvious fears. "He wants kids."

"I know," Devyn nods. She does know. They've talked about it. Not much, but the subject has come up before. But this...they never considered it happening like this.

"Come on," JJ squeezes Devyn's arm and nods over her shoulder towards the door. "Let's get back out there before the others get suspicious. We'll go buy a few tests later. Will and Henry are out, you can take them at my place if you want."

"Yeah, thanks, JJ," Devyn nods for the umpteenth time, feeling a little less nauseous than before. "That means a lot."

JJ pulls Devyn into a comforting hug and speaks quietly into her ear. "It's what family's for."

********

Devyn's pacing as the timer slowly counts down. JJ sits, relaxed on her couch but she watches the young woman in sympathy. She started shaking a few minutes ago but she refuses to stop moving.

When the buzz signals that it's time, Devyn shakes her head and stops walking. "You look," She tells JJ. "I can't. Just-just tell me."

"Okay," JJ nods calmly and grabs the test pregnancy test. Her face gives nothing away when she looks at the results but she doesn't speak for a second. She sighs, thinking before frowning slightly. "It's negative."

"Oh," Devyn slumps, her heart dropping. She hadn't known...she'd been so sure she was pregnant. And despite how absolutely terrified that made her...now knowing that she's not, all she feels is...

"You look sad," JJ points out when Devyn falls onto the couch next to her.

"I mean...I thought I might be...relieved but," Devyn shakes her head, eyes staring forward blankly. "I feel..."

"Disappointed?" JJ guesses, looking back down at the test with an odd expression when Devyn nods. "Oh, good," She mumbles and Devyn's head snaps towards her, eyebrows furrowed. It's good that she feels like shit now? But before Devyn can ask this out loud, JJ speaks up again, her lips suddenly turning upwards. "Because it's really positive."

"What!?" Devyn shouts and grabs the object from the blonde's hands. She stares down at it, blinking her eyes repeatedly but it doesn't change. Two, very distinct, lines stare back up at her. "JJ!"

"I'm sorry," She apologizes but grins. "But you know now," She points out. "Right? Please tell me I'm not a horrible friend."

"No, I-" Devyn laughs but the noise is wet when tears fill her eyes. "I'm pregnant," She says out loud, her voice quiet but she clears her throat before repeating herself. "I'm pregnant."

"You're pregnant," JJ nods, releasing a laugh when Devyn does the same. But the excitement she feels suddenly disappears and the woman slumps back.

"I can't be a mother," She tells JJ and the woman winces.

"That's the hormones talking," She assures Devyn. "You were really happy two seconds ago, let's go back to that." When Devyn only shakes her head, tears falling from her eyes, JJ scoots forward and wraps her arms around her. "Oh, Dev, come on, you'll be a great mother. And Spence is going to be the best father. And you'll have so much help, okay? We're all here for you guys."

Devyn sniffs and wipes her face, ducking her head in embarrassment. "My mom wasn't...a good role model. I have no idea what I'm doing."

"I'll tell you a secret," JJ sighs, arms still wrapped around Devyn. "No new mother knows what she's doing, no matter their childhood."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I was clueless with Henry," JJ shakes her head, gesturing to nothing. "But I had Will and you'll have Spencer. You'll figure it out as you go. There's really no other way."

"That makes me feel better," Devyn mumbles and picks at her nails. She takes a deep breath and tries to push all negative feelings out when she releases it.

"Good," JJ smiles. "The boys aren't scheduled back for a while. How about we eat ice cream and watch cheesy comedies?"

"Yes, please." Devyn mutters and JJ grins, grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch and placing it over her shoulders. She hands Devyn the remotes before going to make them both a bowl of ice cream.

__________

1. Big sister JJ is the best! Right!?
2. How many of you guys did I get with having JJ say it was negative?
3. She's pregnant! A lot of you guys guessed that, good job. I'm sure everyone suspected lol.
4. Devyn is happy but she's also scared and stuff, you know? How do you guys think she'll handle this going forward?

Thanks for reading! Remember to keep my earlier warning in mind...ANYWAY, I'd love to know what you thought, reactions, and your theories! Until next time, friends!

__

'-'