24. One on One

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I stood up. All the clapping deceased. I took off my hat, cleared my throat and I began.

“Church, I have a confession to make. I’m dying of Cancer. I don’t have much longer to live.”

I had never received so much love in my life. I cried so hard I doubled over on the floor, holding my chest, begging God to forgive me.

I didn’t know I actually had the Holy Ghost.

A couple weeks had gone by and I still couldn’t believe I actually had an orgy in church.

And I am not going to lie I haven’t been back. My phone has been ringing off the hook.

I changed my number when I realized it was Lloyd from church, leaving all kind of messages on my machine.

Can I see you again?

Your pussy was fire!

Let’s have a one on one.

Fuck my wife. I want you!

So much for his little quote, what happened behind these doors stayed behind these doors?

The truth of the matter was I felt ashamed. I shouldn’t have done that in God’s house in the first place. It actually turned my stomach.

I found myself getting lost in my grief by taking Hennessy shots to the head and smoking trees.

I spent four hundred dollars on weed and alcohol alone. And with my telemarketing job at PRC, this put me way out of my budget.

I was in the kitchen cooking a small pot of gravy for my biscuits when the phone wailed.

Wondering who it was, and needing to put my bills in the mail box (I should get automatic bill pay through my Bank of America account).

I untied the apron from my waist.

I cursed myself for getting flour on my black pants suit. I then walked past the love seat and sofa and snatched up the phone.

Looking in the mirror (how the fuck did flour get on my fifty dollar weave job?)

I said “Yes.”

“May we speak to Mrs. Jackson, please?”

“Chile, I am not married to a man. I’m
married to my pussy, yes. Well, maybe you can call me Mrs. Sexy. Anyways, speak now or forever hold your piece and I am not talking about your gun.”

She laughed easily. Whoever it was made me crack a smile. I didn’t have many bitches for friends.

In fact I couldn’t think of one woman I was friends with The fact of the matter was that Hoes weren’t to be trusted.

I screwed married men like the Seattle Zoo so I knew other Ho’s would take my man.

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