Forced Mate

20: Run

The biggest thing to consider, now that I'm out of Jaxon's bubble, is whether my love for Jaxon outweighs my desire to be free. My love for him hasn't come easily, and most would say it only ever manifested because of the induction, not because I actually love him. It's a fair assessment, which the Council representative posed to me a couple weeks ago.

"No matter your feelings before, those two in compendium will bring together the most polarized of mates."

And he's right. I hated Jaxon before the induction and he felt the same about me. Immediately after is when we had sex for the first time. Not because I wanted to, but I had this deep need within myself to do so. Because of the induction. I press my fingertips into my eyes at the thoughts flying through my head. Now that I'm away, I'm gaining more perspective about my situation.

Does Jaxon even love me?

Do I even love him?

Do I stay with him because he's my mate and that's simply how it's done, rather than because I actually want to be with him?

In reality, my fear of him outweighs my love for him. I never know when he's going to lose it, fly off the handle, haul off and hit me. He could at any moment, and I would be powerless to his whims.

And I don't want to be powerless anymore.

☾

Although I try to remain hidden away in my hotel room, there comes a time when hunger takes over, combined with stir-craziness and constant thoughts of what I'm going to do about Jaxon after this. The hotel is downtown, near small shops, restaurants, and a park, so I decided to take a quick stroll and grab a bite to eat. As long as the crystal remains around my neck, I should be fine. If anything, they'd probably think I'd go back to Tennessee, my home, not South Alabama. It's still boiling hot outside, despite being December, so I opt for a t-shirt and some jeans and pull my hair into a casual ponytail.

Using Jaxon's money, I go ahead and purchase lunch and dinner. On the way, I pass a small bookstore and end up buying two random books to occupy my spinning thoughts. I eat lunch in peace on a park bench, watching people stroll by on their peaceful Sunday, most still adorning clothes they'd worn to church. I've never been to church. Werewolves don't tend to believe in God, but in the Moon Goddess. At least, I've never met a werewolf who does.

I sip on my soda from its to-go cup, condensation coating my hands from how much it's sweating in the heat. I don't mind it, though. It's still a fairly nice day, sitting here next to the Bay and taking in all the different scenery. I've never been here, before. I've only ever been to Tennessee and South Carolina—my home then Jaxon's home. The world is so different, even a few states over. I bask in the breeze and sunlight and freedom, not minding the solitude at all.

"Isabelle?" Someone calls my name and my eyes shoot open. I frantically gather my things, ready to make a run for it, before I feel a soft hand on my forearm, causing me to cease my fearful gathering.

I slowly gather the courage to look into the eyes of the man before me and realization dawns on me when I meet his kind face—Mr. Richards. I'd forgotten that the Southern Division of the American Council of Werewolves is located here, in this city.

"M-Mr. Richards," My racing heartbeat calms down and I let my things slide back onto the park bench.

"Isabelle, what are you doing here? Is Jaxon with you?" He looks around, his tone cautious and wary at seeing me out, alone, in another state.