Deep In The Woods

12 ~ No Problem

"He's going to be mad at me, isn't he?"

"Mad?" Dumbledore tilted his head, looking to you for the first time since the conversation started. "Why on earth would he be upset with you, dear?"

You didn't met his stare. You always figured people would be upset with you. It was imprinted in your mind that things were normally your fault.

"I dunno," you answered, partially truthful.

The headmaster scanned you skeptically, but he eventually let it go, and you could feel yourself relax as he turned away. Remus was breathing slowly, his chest rising and falling in a long, drawn out rhythm. You tried to count the cuts all over him, but they were numerous, ranging from small as a papercut to long and wide down his forearms. Pomfrey appeared to have done what she could, but some of the cuts were still healing(exceedingly fast, you could add).

"Would you have him expelled?"

What? Expelled? Your head snapped towards Dumbledore, twiddling his fingers patiently. Why would he be expelled? You were the one who had snuck out!

"Of course not!" The words flooded from your lips. "He's not the one who- why would I want him kicked out?"

He stood from the bed, towering over you as he brought his hands behind his back, holding them there limply. Dumbledore looked down at Remus with you, his brow furrowed.

"I share your feelings." He answered. "But I had to seek him out. The Ministry has laws against werewolves, you see. They're labeled as "half-breeds" by the more sinister officials. I admit it was dangerous for us to bring him here, but it would be worse if others found out."

Jasmine. Your thoughts instantly went to your aunt. She would be vicious if she knew that not only muggles, but "half-breeds" too, were attending the same school as her perfect daughter. Remus would be thrown out of the school without a second thought, tossed on the stone steps and harassed by pure-bloods and muggleborns alike. You could see why everyone would react that way; he had attacked you, after all, and you were his friend. Parents wouldn't send their children to a school where a 'monster' was on the loose.

"They'll be scared of him."

"Without a doubt." Dumbledore agreed. "What will you do?"

"Keep it secret," you answered. "He deserves to be here as much as the rest of us."

"Wonderful," said Dumbledore, who seemed to be radiating pride. "I'll leave you to it, then."

Dumbledore turned on his heel, walking towards the door without much of an explanation.

"Leave me to what?" You called, watching as he left.

You didn't need an answer as Remus began to stir.

His eyes fluttered open. Your friend began to wake up, pushing himself from the bed and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He ruffled his hair, slowly turning his head around the room until he spotted you; a switch seemed to flip from tired to wide-awake in an instant.

"(Y/n)!" He exclaimed, pressing his body against the back of the bed. "What- what are you doing..."

His eyes glazed over for a second as you sat on his bed, picking at your leg. You heard his breath hitch as he recalled the night, but you kept picking at the fabric of your pajamas until the silence became unbearable and you forced yourself to look at him.

He was crying. Crystal tears were falling in great globs down his cheeks as he choked down hiccups and sniffles. You twitched uncomfortably as you thought of what to say.

"It's ok, Remus, I'm not going to tell anyone-"

"Why not?!" He cried, unravelling at his seams. "I'm a monster! I-I hurt you! I'm scary and evil and- and-"

"You're not any of that, Remus." You soothed. You weren't the person to come to for consolation! "You didn't want to, it was an accident."

"But I- I- you-" He broke down into sobs. Anything that may have been a coherent sentence was lost among heaves and wheezes, panic as his eyes flickered back and forth as he wondered what was going to happen, contemplated his fate. He was holding himself in his arms, rocking back and forth like he was lost and alone. You didn't want him to feel like that, not when you were right here.

You wrapped him up in your arms, but he jerked away from you. You couldn't make out much, but 'monster' was said its fair share of times. Knowing you wouldn't be able to hug him until he calmed down, you put your hands on his shoulders and stared him down.

"Remus. Remus. I don't care. You see my arm? It's fine. It looks SUPER cool. You're my friend, Remus. You're not a monster."

Briefly, he stopped hyperventilating. He stopped everything, as if he went into shut down at your words. Then, without warning, he lost control again and became the scared mess he was before.

Instead of pulling away this time, he was fighting so little that you managed to get him into your arms. You held him up, letting him sob into your shoulder as he cried self-deprecating phrases and you responded with uplifting ones. You hadn't had the slightest idea what you were doing, but you figured it was what you would want in the situation? Maybe, you couldn't ever begin to imagine it...

It took most of the morning before he opened up. Remus was willing to tell you what he had been concealing: how he had been a werewolf since he was a boy, when his father had convicted a ruthless lycanthrope named Fenrir Greyback who had then come after his family and bit him, turning him into the 'beasts' his father despised so much. Dumbledore had come to him, inviting him the past summer to attend Hogwarts where it would be safe for him and others(though Remus made a point to dispute that). The Whomping Willow was planted to conceal the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack, which hadn't been ready until late in the year, which was why Remus was in the Forbidden Forest originally. Now, he said, it was a cycle of going into the shack and spending the full moon there then waking up in the Hospital Wing under the care of Madam Pomfrey.

There was one question you didn't have an answer to: "Why the scars?"

Remus glanced at his body, scanning the fresh wounds and the old ones. He sighed, wiping his eyes from the still-drying tears as he answered. "It hurts. My bones and muscles and everything has to fit into the other body... I claw myself... and bite..."

"Why? You- I mean you don't have to tell me if you aren't comfortable-"

"No," he interjected. "I... I don't really know. It might be boredom, but- but I think it's because I kind of know myself when I'm like that... and I hate it..."

Like he was trapped in his own skin.

"I'm sorry, Remus." You said, not knowing what to do. "I really am. I wish you didn't have to go through this."

He scoffed. "Thanks, but I do."

"Not alone, though," you offered with a slight smile. "Not anymore, if you don't want to. I'll wait for you to come back, when you go out. I would come with you, but, uh-"

"NO!" Remus exclaimed, bursting out and soon retreating back into himself with a blush. "It's probably a bad idea. But... you don't have to wait for me if you don't-"

"Guess I have to get a calendar," you sighed, tossing a dramatic hand across your forehead. "And staying up late, ugh! How could you do this to me!"

Remus laughed lightly at your dramatics, which is what you were going for. Laughter was the best cure for sadness, or something like that. You smiled back at him. You let out a breath, looking out the window where the sky had turned blue and the sun was shining down.

"Thank you..."

"Are you kidding? As if I wouldn't!"

"I know..." your hand grew warm as he wrapped yours in his. Your face felt like a furnace, as if the sunbeams had concentrated there. "But still, thank you."

"No problem."