Did I ever stand a chance? - DM -

|seventeen|

Astoria... fuck Astoria what am I going to tell her, she wanted a break and I go get technically engaged to the one girl that caused her to doubt our relationship. I was screwed. 

I didn't know if I should owl her or wait till school, the more I thought I remember we had our ball after Christmas. She would there and my parents would most likely announce it then. 

"Draco, darling" my eyes snapped up from the book resting on my lap over to my mother who was standing in the door way of my room. Her eyes softened as she looked at me. 

"Yes mother"

"Would you like to join me in the garden so a stroll, the snow has stopped and it is very lovely at the moment" I could never say no to my mother but not for the same reason as my father, my mother has been the only person to truly love me and we have always been close. 

I've only felt like this with one other person which was Astoria. The more I think about how our future was crushed the more I just want to crawl under my covers and never come out .

"Of course" I closed my book tossing it on my bed and grabbing my coat. 

The wind out side was light and made my cheeks turn pink. My mother held great pride in her garden, she cared for it almost as much as she cared for me. 

"How is quidditch going?" 

"Good, we won our first match and our next one will be when we return to school" Potter never stood a chance getting the snitch. I was always a better seeker then him everyone knew it. 

"I would love to attend that game-"

we both gave each other a smile implying that I would love nothing more.

"Do you know that me and your father were Arranged" she started. 

"No, I did not" she always told me that they went to Hogwarts together and fell in love, is the sweet and short version. I never understood how she loved him but love came in strange ways I hear so makes sense. 

"You're old enough for me to talk to you about this but I don't love your father" I stopped in my tracks turning to look at her,  she didn't stop though. Her face held the same peaceful smile that you could always find. 

I caught up with her shoving my hands deeper into my coat pocket. " I do love him but not in the way you want to spend the rest of your life love, Me and him were friends at Hogwarts but I never liked his ways-."

"Over time after the weeding I found little things that I love about him, like how he gave me you, how he would do anything for us, and other little things. But all the little things add up enough-" she stopped in front of her rose bush picking one out. 

"I know right now things feel odd and that your life might be over but I assure you, over time things will get better, become more natural" she handed me the rose, I looked down at it twirling it in my fingers. 

"I don't know mom, things are different with me and Liv. She hates me and I-"

"I don't know about me" I huffed dropping my hand to my side and looking over at her. 

"I don't think that's true but if it is, i'm not telling you to fall madly in love with her but show her that you care and everything will be okay. I know both of you need that reassurance but you can only get it from each other, this isn't about anyone else but you two" 

She was right, but this was so much more than just us two.

"I'll try"

I felt guilty, so guilty that the thought of marrying Liv didn't make me cringe. This wasn't the worst thing in my eyes but it's not what I want. I want Astoria but everything good comes to an end. 

But what if I don't want it to come to an end?

/*

The next day was quite. 

Liv wasn't at lunch or dinner, her mother said she was out shopping for gifts. Another day past where I just thought. 

Thought about everything and anything. 

It was almost midnight now and I decided to finally talk to Liv, but this time neither of us were walking away until I was done. She needed to hear me out. 

My door creaked open as I walked into the cold corridor, her room was just down the hall so I didn't walk far. 

My heart felt like it was in my throat oddly enough. I raised my hand and hesitated before I planted a soft but firm knock. But nothing. 

Not a sound from the other side, a call back. Nothing. 

I knocked once more but same thing. She should most definitely be home by now, the library crossed my mind since I knew she loved it there. 

If she was in there I would want to talk with her, that was her favorite place and she already had a fight - kind of - with her mom in there. I don't know how this is going to go but I didn't want to ruin yet another thing for her. 

My hand moved down to the nob, the cold metal was stinging my hand. I slowly opened the door peaking my head in. 

"Liv-"

A/N- Cissy bringing them together, hm maybe. 

Might post another chapter today, should I?