Losing the Light [h.s.]

14

Harry can get his sight back if he wants to. It's a possibly dangerous procedure, but the doctor seems to think it's worth the risk.

All four of them are surprised when Harry tells them the news, because a whole month has gone by without any calls from the doctor. Marlee thought the doctors had let Harry go once they'd checked out of the hospital. There hadn't been any follow-up appointments, that she knew of. Also, Harry had just come to terms with his blindness, so why couldn't the doctor have dumped him with good news before?

He was changing as a person. He was learning to enjoy "the littler things in life." Once Harry had gotten through the tough spot and felt like he could actually make it like this, he just gets handed back his old life? Of course it's not Marlee's decision, and her opinions are foolish--she knows that--but she can't help having thoughts.

What Harry says next surprises them even more, snapping Marlee back to his attention.

"I don't know if I really want my eyes back, though."

Everyone's jaw drops.

"Excuse me?" Des says.

"Harry," Anne says. "Why don't you want to have the surgery?"

Harry sits down on the gray hotel couch. He rubs his lips together. "I don't know. It just seems simpler. I--"

"You're crazy," Gemma nearly yells. "You have to do it."

Harry flinches. "Fine. I'll go through with the procedure."

Anne glares at her daughter. "Don't let what Gemma says change how you feel. If you don't want to go through with it then you don't have to."

"Your mother is right," Des agrees. "This is your life. We support you no matter what."

Marlee speaks up, "When do you need a final answer?"

Harry shrugs. "Probably after this interview--he said I'd need time to recover."

She nods. "It's good that you have time to think."

Gemma slouches down into the chair facing Harry on the couch. "I'm sorry, I just thought you really wanted to see again," she mutters.

Harry opens his mouth to say something, but doesn't. Anne nods. "It's alright, Gem," she says. "This really is something Harry needs to figure out by himself, though."

"There's a lot to consider," Des nods, too.

Harry drags his hand down his face. "Then why am I deciding this by myself? I'm not old enough to make this decision."

Anne laughs. "Of course you are, dear. Just don't make any rash decisions tonight."

Harry nods. He'll sleep on it. By the morning, he'll have his answer.

Harry makes his way back to his room with Marlee, and they quietly get ready for bed. Harry can hear that she's fallen asleep nearly the moment her head hits the pillow, but Harry lays awake, thinking.

He's lived half his life with eyes, so what if he should live the other half without? He's seen nearly everything he possibly could--the best parts and the worst. If he doesn't take back his sight, though, that could be a wasted chance at getting his old life back.

He could see Gemma's constant eye-rolling again, and Marlee's perfect smile. His mother's endearing gaze, and his father's lovably neutral expressions.

But what's the point of staying visionless? Harry can't seem to come up with a good reason.

-

Harry must've fallen asleep at some point last night, because when he wakes up he can hear Marlee already milling around the room. "Is it morning?" Harry asks in a whisper.

"Yes, it is," Marlee replies. "Did you figure out what you want to do?"

Harry shrugs. "I don't really have a good reason not to do it, other than the risk. And, honestly, what's the worst thing that could happen? I'd just be blind forever, which is probably what would be happening if I don't go through with it."

"So it's kind of a win-win situation?" Marlee asks, pressing a warm mug of tea into his hands.

"It kind of is," Harry says. He frowns. "But it's really hard to sleep when you don't know if it's dark outside."

Marlee laughs, sitting down in front of him on his bed. "You're like a bird who can only sleep when the blanket is over their cage."

"I think I'll call the doctor back," Harry says, giving in. "'Set up an appointment. Just to see what happens."

"Okay," Marlee nods. "Did he tell you how long it would take to recover?"

Harry shakes his head. He hadn't asked, because he didn't think he'd be having the surgery at all. Sure, it was stupid of him to think that, but he'd been--for a few minutes--genuinely happy to be blind. People knew who he was, they cared about him, and he liked that. Publicity would come to him no matter what, though. And it isn't really something he wants a lot of, he realizes.

He calls the doctor, asking him for an appointment later that week after his last interview. He'd need to take a few days off, and after that Harry would be good to go. Ready to skate, but with a few possible imperfections to his sight.

After the surgery Harry may not have his 20/20 vision back, but as Marlee points out: the glasses just make him more attractive, making it a win-win-win situation.