Embedded

Chapter Twelve.

I look down at my lap, tears failing to stay back. This is me losing a job I've worked so damn hard for to get. My years of training and sleepless nights are now in vain. My hard prayers and the two jobs I had to tackle in order to support my siblings and myself was for nothing. Nothing at all.

"I'm sorry Dlamini."
"It's fine." I wipe away a tear before sitting up.
"Listen, if you need to go say something to your grade nines, then I'll allow it."

I nod and get up before I reach the door of the office feeling like shit. When I open the door someone is leaning onto the door, and awkwardly pretends as if they weren't just eavesdropping on what was happening in here.

"I...was just bringing t...these papers to Principal Phakade."
"Really Deborah?" Me. I move past her and head to my classroom. It's quiet. I forgot I had two off periods. Good. This is what I needed. "Can I please have some privacy?" I request from the two mannequins.

"Of course Miss." They both turn to leave and close the door behind them. I look around my classroom. I sniff before sitting down on my chair, arms flat on my desk as I started crying my lungs out at the thought. I wanted to pull my braids out and burn this whole school down.

How could they do this to me?
How could I do this to myself?

I don't know how long I sit there after my crying session. I glance at my phone for the time. 09h40 the bell is bound to ring any second now so I fix myself. I can't allow the kids to see me like this. Especially not my favorite class. Just as I had predicted, the bell rings and it's chaos outside. I can hear the kids changing classes as usual.

The door opens and a mannequin peeps in.

"Miss your class is present outside."
"Let them in." I force a smile on my face. He opens the door and they quietly walk into my class, probably shocked by the two tall men at the door. They go stand behind their chairs. I clear my throat. "Sit grade nines."

They sit. I go stand in front of them as they looked up at me, some of them take out their books but I stop them.

"You don't have to take your books for today, cause I'm leaving."
"Leaving? Again?" Mbali asks.

I nod. "I have to."
"Ma'am you don't have to." Siya says.
"Unfortunately, I have no choice."
"Ma'am you always have a choice." Someone else says.

I shake my head.

"So who'll teach us L.O like you ma'am?"
"We're falling behind ma'am, and you always discourage that."
"I don't want another teacher." Siya says. I heave out a sigh.

"I'm sorry guys...hugs?"
"Ma'am you're making it sound like this is your last day here with us." Thabo says getting up as well.

It might just be. We share a satisfying group hug.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"You don't sound well to me." He says on the other end of the line.
"How do I sound like Bangi?"
"Like you've been crying...have you been crying? Did I do something wrong?"
"Well I've been suspended from work." I say.
"What! When? Why?" He bombards.
"Yesterday, for everything that's been happening."
"So, this is my fault."

I sigh, removing an irritating eyelash from my eye.

"I didn't say that."
"You're thinking of it though."
"I am obviously, but I can't just blame you for everything that's out there. If I didn't get intoxicated then I wouldn't be in this dire situation. I added fuel to my own fire."
"Zano, I'm so sorry."

"I'll probably still have to go a hearing soon, but I want nothing more than to not think about this thing."
"What if I..."
"If you what?"
"I should've done this ages ago. Can I call you later?"
"What are you going to do?"
"You'll see. I still love you okay."