Help Me Fall

chapter four

My first day of school started in five hours, thirty-six minutes and four seconds. It was three am and I couldn't sleep. The nerves were nothing but an endless whirlpool causing nausea.

Rays of moonlight shone on Kira's sleeping face, Illuminating the dark room. The curtains were drawn. The door to the balcony ajar, letting in a cool breeze.

I swung my bare legs over the side of my bed and hopped off. I went to shut the glass door but a pair of headlights caught my eye. I stepped out into the balcony that overlooked the main part of the school and sports fields. A black chevy came to a stop in the student parking zone. A tall figure stepped out of the driver's side and violently slammed the door. They let out a string of curses before holding a phone to their ear. After a few hushed words they cursed at someone by the name of 'Frank'.

Next thing I know, they sent the phone flying to the ground with a frustrated groan. I gasped and jumped back, accidentally bumping into the mini table. The pot plant placed on top fell to the ground with a loud shatter.

Their head snaps towards me and that's when I realize that it was that arse, Percy. He glared in my direction then his eyes widened in realization. He lifted a finger to his lips and pressed it firmly against them. I stood there with my mouth gaping open and watched him get back into his car and drive away.

What am I staying silent about? His temper tantrum in the middle of the night? And where the hell is he going at this time - is it even allowed?

"This is none of my business." I muttered to myself and closed the door. I slipped into bed and attempted to use my last few hours to sleep.

-

"Rise and shine!"

"Fuck," I peeled open my heavy eyes and scanned the dark room. "What time is it?" I croaked.

Kira glanced at the analogue clock above our door. "Six thirty, forty-five minutes till breakfast." She walked over to the curtains and opened them.

"Hey! What happened to Rooney?" She asked.

"Rooney?"

"The pot-plant. It's smashed." She said sadly.

Fuck. I completely forgot about that.

"Oh. I don't know maybe the breeze?" I offered sheepishly.

She hummed in response and turned away. "You can shower first. I'll use the communal showers down the hall."

"Okay, thanks."

After a quick shower, I put on my crisp new uniform and slip on my Chuck Taylor.

I almost screamed when my tie refused to cooperate after the fourth attempt of trying to tie it.

"Need some help?" Kira faced me with a light smile. Her black hair was tied into a low ponytail, much like my Mother's. I counted seven badges pinned on the left side of her blazer. She wore thick black Mary Jane's and frilly white socks.

"Yes, please. " I smiled.

"There you go," She grinned proudly and adjusted my collar. "You look good." She eyed me from top to bottom before glancing at the clock again. "Ryan should be here in a minute then we'll head to breakfast."

On cue, my stomach groaned and making Kira laugh. I'm going to have to eat something or she might say something in front of everyone at the table.

A couple of seconds later Ryan walked dressed in an identical uniform to ours, except her blazer was pipped with white thread. The badge on her left breast read: 'Sports Scholarship'. She had a pair of Doc Martens on and her face bare of any make up.

"Good morning, my beautiful wife." Kira cooed and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Hi, Kira." She said and patted her awkwardly on the back. She nodded at me in acknowledgement and I did the same.

"Let's go eat." Kira said once Ryan pulled her off.

Kira and Ryan both grabbed trays and joined the line. Kira held one out to me and I hesitated before taking it with a forced smile.

Today in the shower I wrapped my fingers around my ankles, wrists and the thickest part of my arm. I was so close. Just a few more centimeters and I'd be perfect. I've worked so hard, I can't stop now. But I also can't risk being sent back. I need everyone to believe that I'm okay. For my own sanity.

I watched as they both put two of each part of the breakfast on their plates. I don't even have to eat that much. I placed a single slice of toast on my plate and chose the least amount of yogurt out of all the bowls. I headed to the coffee station with Ryan who asked for plain black coffee.

"How are you, Ryan?" The guy, Henry, asked.

"I'm good Hen, how are you?"

"I told you to stop calling me that." He laughed.

"And I'm not going too. Venessa what you getting?" She asked me.

"Uh, coffee, two sugars with milk, please." I replied.

"You two know each other?" He questioned.

"Barely. Kira introduced her to us yesterday. She's new." Ryan explained.

"Explains why I haven't seen your face around here."

"It's not like you remember everyone's face, dude."

"True, but I'd remember such a pretty face." He said with a playful smile and Ryan rolled her eyes.

My face immediately turned red. "I- thanks?"

"Here you go." He handed me my coffee and smiled, again. "Enjoy the rest of your day, pretty girl."

"You too." I squeaked and followed Ryan to our table.

This time around Percy was sitting with us. He gave me a threatening look as if to tell me not to say anything. I simply rolled my eyes and ignored him.

I tried to ignore the sweet flavor of the strawberry yogurt and forced the rest down my throat. I tried to keep up with the conversation that they're having but the number of calories I just consumed kept flashing in my mind.

106 calories from the buttered toast.

102 calories from the yogurt.

208 calories in total and it's not even midday.

I slowly started to panic when I realized that I won't reach my goal sooner than expected. When I realized that I was going to stay imperfect.

♕

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