The Buddy Program

02 | i'm e.t. in my freetime

"I meant it in a metaphorical sense, Jeon. God, I'm trying to sound smart and you're making me sound dumb," Taehyung pretended to be hurt, but he knew the dumbass was nowhere near offended.

"Well because you are stupid," Jeongguk didn't know why he was wasting energy on this dickhead, but he was. It was hard to get away from him. Every time he tried to step aside, Taehyung followed.

"Let me be smart once," Taehyung pleaded. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Dr. Kim arrived. Great. Mentally, Jeongguk counted down the seconds for the psychiatrist to save him, knowing he couldn't handle Taehyung for any longer than a minute.

"No, you're stupid," Jeongguk started walking back to the circle, but of course, Taehyung tagged along.

"Please? I want to impress you with my fucking brain folds. Is that too much to ask?" Jeongguk gave him a disgusted look, remembering what the guy said yesterday about him being interesting.

He supposed it was a joke, and that made him feel a little bit better. It kinda justified his shit attitude.

"Keep your brain folds to yourself, good god," He said, sitting down into one of the chairs, and oh, lucky him! Taehyung plopped down right next to him. "You don't have to impress me."

"But I want to," Taehyung said. "I wanna be your friend."

"Nobody says that bullshit outloud," Jeongguk forced himself to look straight ahead, knowing he'd only make himself more agitated if he looked at him. "If you're gonna make friends with other people, it happens naturally. Like natural selection."

"So does that mean you'll naturally select me to be your friend?"

"No," Jeongguk snorted, "I'm going to naturally select you to leave me the fuck alone."

Thankfully, before Taehyung could piss him off any further, Kim Namjoon clapped his hands together, signifying the start of the meeting. At that, he bit back the smug smirk twitching over his lip knowing he got the last word, and with that, he tuned in to Dr. Kim as he started to speak.

"Welcome." He only said one word, and he already knew why he was so compelling. It was the slicked back olive hair, killer dimples, and the sophistication that oozed out of him. Jeongguk guessed all the coolness went to him and not his dipshit of a brother.

Maybe he was worth listening to. For Sae's sake and just to piss off Kim Taehyung.

"Alright, for today since I noticed we have a new member, we should do introductions again. I'd also like to personally thank everyone for coming down here," Dr. Kim said. Oh, looks like the manners went to him too.

"I know it's tough being here, but hopefully this little group will make things a little more bearable." Fuck. How could he hate this guy?

Jeongguk sat patiently as he listened to everyone re-introduce themselves to the group. Hoseok suffered from lung cancer, and apparently the gross tumor shit metastasized all over his lungs so he needed an oxygen tank.

Somewhere Taehyung and him started talking, and he threatened to throw it at him. As he should, honestly.

Then there was Sooha, who said she was from the psychiatry ward. Apparently she went through all kinds of severe depressive episodes from trauma that were bad enough to land her in the ward, but her best friend was Min Yoongi, and he was her reason to stay around.