The Guide To Moving On

Chapter 37 - Funeral

Nat's POV

I reached forward and fixed his tie, giving him a little smile. 

"You look very handsome Steve." I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek softly. 

"You look beautiful too Nat." He replied, his voice slightly muffled as he rested his head on my shoulder. 

The last few days had been interesting. After the first night when I found him in the bathtub, he has been going through the stages of grief, sometimes he is better than others. 

He has cried almost everyday for the past four days, but each day he cries less. I know how important Peggy was to him and I am doing my absolute best to care for him. He hasn't left his apartment since he first found out, and I have been spending most of my time here with him. 

Except for when I go to fetch us both some food. I let the team know what had happened and they have been very considerate of him, even preparing meals for me to take to him. They were a little suspicious about how much time I have spent with him, but all it took was one glare and a stern talking to about us being 'friends' to make them stop. 

I am honoured, however that Steve has trusted me enough to be this open with me. I trusted him and I have been open to him, but I never realised until now how ready he was to open up to me. 

Today was the day of the funeral. I woke Steve up this morning with a big breakfast and coffee, and we have spent the past 20 minutes getting ready to go. Steve has been quiet, and I know that he is upset, but I am trying my hardest to lighten the blow for him.

I even plan to take him out to a nice lunch afterwards at one of my favourite cafe's in New York to celebrate Peggy's life and to make sure that Steve is ok. 

I am currently dressed in a black, knee length dress and my hair is lightly curled down my shoulders and back. Steve is wearing a black suit, and has his hair swept the side. I know it isn't the time, but if it was, I would say that my partner in crime looks very hot right now. 

"Are you ready to go?" I asked him softly as I released him from the hug. He simply nodded and I grabbed his hand as I guided him out of the apartment and to the elevator. 

"I love you, and I am always going to be here for you." I whispered as I kissed his lips lightly. 

"I know." Was all he said as kissed me again, this time with a little more fervour. I smiled into the kiss and we pulled apart as the elevator came to a stop at the bottom of tower. We exited the elevator and quickly walked across the entrance and out the door, nodding to Happy as we did so. 

The church was only a short walk from the tower, so we had decided to walk the 3 blocks. As soon as we had moved out of eyesight of the tower, and got lost in the crowd, I grabbed onto Steve's hand and gave it a squeeze as we neared closer to the church. 

There were around a hundred people milling around the front of the church, all dressed in black, but all seemed to be of high importance in one way or another. I guess Peggy was a really influential person for their to be a crowd like this. 

I felt Steve tense a little as we made our way inside, sitting up the front in our allocated positions. I squeezed his had again and whispered into his ear calming words, watching as he relaxed a little. 

An organ started to play in the back once everyone was seated, and all eyes turned to the front, were a casket was now sitting proud in the centre, the priest slightly off to the left. 

Within the first 5 minutes, Steve was sniffling softly and I wrapped my arms around his waist, doing my best to remain respectful, yet provide support for my boyfriend. The personal speeches began and Steve's eyes welled with tears, but he fought not to let them fall. 

I just kept holding onto him tight, letting him know that I was here and that it was ok to grieve for one of the most important people in his past life. 

Finally, the funeral concluded and Steve along with several others were called up to take the casket to the Hearse. I sat in the pew as he did so, and as they disappeared out the door, I stood up along with everyone else and walked out of the church, waiting for Steve to return. 

I glanced around the crowd and my eyes finally fell upon the tall, blonde super soldier that was making his way towards me. I wrapped him into a bear hug and I felt my shoulder dampen with his tears. 

I patted my hand on his back, and then rubbed it in circles, trying to calm him. He eventually lifted his head off my shoulder and I stared deep into his eyes, wiping the last of his tears from his face. 

"How about we both get lunch?" I suggested and he nodded. I wrapped my arms around his waist and guided him down the street, towards the café. 

I stopped in front of the café and walked in, dragging Steve behind me. He arched an eyebrow as we sat down in a booth at the back, away from the public. 

"How are you holding up?" I asked him as I passed him a menu to scan. 

"Better than I thought I would. But I definitely wouldn't have if you weren't there." He replied, smiling a little as he waved the waiter over, ordering our meals. 

"Always, Steve." I replied, giving him a reassuring smile. 

"And on a lighter topic, this is by far the best café in New York, their apricot Danishes are to die for." I told him and he nodded. 

"Glad I ordered one then. How did you find this place anyways?" He asked and I looked down, a smirk making its way onto my face as I remembered the story. 

"Well its a long story, but basically it was after a mission, and Clint decided to annoy me to the point that I walked out of my own apartment and spent basically all day here. There isn't many foods on their menu that I haven't tried." I replied and smiled at the waiter as she delivered our order. 

"Wow, you are right about the Danish!" He exclaimed as he dug in to his food. I smiled at the sight of the pure enjoyment seeping back into his features after about a week of seeing nothing but pain and tension. 

"Thanks for everything Nat. I don't think I could've done this without you." He grabbed and squeezed my hand briefly to prove his point. I smiled at him gently. 

"You are stronger than you think. But, you're welcome anyway." I replied, earning a cheeky smirk from him. 

"What are your plans for the rest of the afternoon?" He asked and I shrugged in response, not thinking about anything other than the funeral this morning. 

"Well, I overheard Tony talking to Clint this morning on our way out the tower. Apartently they are planning a surprise for us this afternoon. Care to come with me and check it out?" He asked me and I smirked, nodding. 

He stood up and I copied, his arm wrapping around my waist as we paid and made our way out of the restaurant. 

He kissed my forehead as we walked down the street, a blissful smile spreading on my face. One of the strongest men in history was currently standing next to me, holding and kissing me like no tomorrow. And I have the honour of calling that man my boyfriend. 

I am pretty darn lucky.