Lose Myself: A Brittana Story

Sick

It's been a week since I've heard from Santana. Well, outside of school that is. Besides seeing her at school, we haven't really talked about the date. On top of that, Rachel keeps asking me questions as if she already knows something. It's all just so confusing, and mostly stressful. My main concern is making sure Santana's okay though. 

Even though I'm tired, and everything hurts, I drag myself out of the house. The sun is barely shining, but it still burns my eyes. Every sound seems amplified, and every small sensory detail makes my head hurt. I figure it'll pass though. Maybe once I take some more of my medicine. Or maybe that'll just make me feel worse. I'm not even sure if I cant tell the difference anymore.

I don't even realize that I stopped walking until I start getting strange looks from some of the neighbors. I frown in confusion and then realize I've been standing in the middle of the sidewalk for a while now. I try to shake off the sluggish feeling and keep walking. After what seems like hours, I finally make it to Santana's house. I feel nauseous but I try to ignore it. I knock on the door and the small contact causes a searing paint shoot through my knuckles. No one answers at first, so I assume I didn't knock hard enough. Just as I'm about to knock again, the door opens.

"Britt? What are you doing here are you ok?" Santana asks with a concerned look on her face

I try to shake off the sluggish feeling again before speaking
"I'm fine,"

She studies my face for a while before stepping aside to let me in. She starts walking upstairs to her room and I follow. Or at least I try to. Once we get to the foot of the stairs I stop walking again. I try opening my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I just feel so weak. Empty. I sit down instead of walking. Santana doesn't see me at first, so I try calling out for her but...I cant. When she finally realizes I'm not behind her she looks back.

"Britt! What's wrong are you sure you're ok?!" She asks running back down the stairs.

"I- I'm fine..." I look down instead of meeting her questioning gaze.

"Britt...tell the truth"

"I said I'm fine. Its nothing, really," I say lying through my teeth. I feel sick and I honestly just want to rest. She just sighs and proceeds to pick me up. She tries to support my weight on her shoulder the best that she can, while walking up the stairs. She carries me into her room and sets me down on the bed.

"B, your skin is burning. Do you feel sick?" I just shrug in response. She groans in frustration.

"Britt I want to help you, but in order for me to do that you have to tell me what's wrong"

"Were you avoiding me?" I ask instead of addressing what she said before.

"What? What do you mean?"

"We haven't talked much this past week and I just felt like you were avoiding me..."

"Britt- look that's not important right now okay? I just want to make sure you're okay right now. We can talk about it later," she says while guiding me to lay down on her stack of pillows. I allow myself to get comfortable before speaking again.

"But San I want to talk about it now. You cant keep putting it off," I say with a small frown. She looks down.

"Look B. I wasn't avoiding you ok? Let's just leave it at that," her voice is quiet. I know she has trouble expressing things sometimes so I try my best to forget about it. Which is surprisingly easy considering how increasingly cloudy my head is becoming.

"San I-"

And then everything goes black.

+++

I open my eyes and everything is immediately blurry. I feel something cool on my forehead and something heavy covering me. I blink until my vision clears up and then I realize I'm still in Santana's room. I try sitting up but then something falls into my lap. It's a wet washcloth. I guess that was what was on my forehead. I look down to see that I'm covered in a large quilt. Its extremely hot though, so I kick it off. I regret it as soon as I do it though, because then I get hit with a wave of chills. Santana's door opens and she walks in with a bowl in her hands. She sees me sitting up in confusion and she runs up to me.

"Britt! You're awake, oh god, you're okay!" She sets the bowl of soup down on her table and pulls me in for  a hug.

"What happened?" I ask.

"I don't know. You were about to say something and then you passed out. I didn't know what to do so I called my mom. She suggested that I make you some soup. I think you're pretty sick B,"

I wrinkle my nose at the bowl and pout.

"San I hate soup," I say

"I know but you have to eat it. I'm not sure if its safe to give you any type if cold medicine considering all of the medicine you already take" she hands me the bowl of soup, and then she picks up the quilt I kicked. She places it on me again and I smile up at her.

"Thanks,"

I reluctantly eat some of the soup but it doesn't make me feel any better. I honestly don't think I have a cold. I'd know if I did. This is something else, but I'm not sure what. Santana start texting my mom, trying to find out what medicine is safe for me to take. As soon as I finish the soup, I get tired again. I lay back against the pillows and burrow further into the quilt. Santana looks at me with a soft smile. As I begin drifting off, things get hazy. I'm not sure if I'm just imagining it or not, but right before I completely fall asleep I feel Santana kiss my forehead and whisper something. I'm too out of it to know what exactly she said but I smile anyways and mumble a mostly incoherent response. Then I fall asleep.

A/N: Sorry for the delay! I've been really busy with school but I'm trying to get back to a normal release schedule. Anyways, lmk how you guys like the chapter and as always comment any suggestions you want.