Did I ever stand a chance? - DM -

|seven|

I always told her I wanted to marry her, I still do merlin i'm such a coward. I couldn't admit my feelings and now she might never know, I can't live with the fact she died thinking I thought of her a filth for shagging the blood traitor.

She was far from filth, but I needed to tell myself that to believe that we could never be together. I needed her to believe that I was just a bloody prick who she celebrates holidays with and eats meals across from.

"D-Dra" I saw the corner for the hospital wing.

"Hey Liv, shh don't talk okay everything will be okay you're not going to die on me alright I won't let you" her eyes fluttered shut again as I took a sharp turn, I could see the infirmary. I forgot about Blaise, Theo, and Pansy, Liv was the only one in my mind. But I heard them running behind me.

"Madam Pomfrey" the elderly women's head pops up with wide eyes "Over here" she pointed to a bed I put her down with slight hesitation. I didn't want to let go of her, my arms felt empty even though Pansy was gripping onto it tightly as we all stood there. Helpless.

Madam Pomfrey pushed us out, we all sat in front of the infirmary all night just waiting for some news, any news. But we all prayed it would be good.

"How could she do this" Theo breathed out, you couldn't see it but our eyes were all lined with red from crying. Theo rested his head on Pansys chest as he began to sob once more, she rubbed his head trying to sooth him even though she was worse than him.

"This was so selfish" Blaise kicked the wall, we were all getting tired of waiting.

"No, it was selfish we didn't see that she was hurting this bad" she was right, Liv never seemed out of it or on the verge of this. But she might have just tied her mask too tight to let go anymore.

She is okay

She'll be okay

Everything will end up fine

I kept telling myself that but even I couldn't believe it.

- End of Flashback -

I snapped out of my daze as I felt a nudge on my arm, I looked up to see her, Liv standing at the side of my desk.

"Stop daydreaming" I hid the tiny smile on my lips as I saw her standing in front of me. I shook it off as I packed up joining them as we walked to our next class. I saw Astoria talking with some of her fifth year friends, she looked perfect just standing there.

"I'll see you guys later" I broke away from them, Olivia's face looked lost for a moment but I brushed it off. I had to make things right with her.

"Astoria can we talk" she ignored me as her friends looked at me confused, I groaned leaning down to her ear whispering "-please."

She huffed grabbing my hand and walking away, her hands were always so soft and tiny. They fit perfectly in mine as if they were molded for each other.

"Speak" she demanded as we now stood in an empty classroom, it looked abandoned with cobwebs everywhere and stacked desks and chairs.

"Really not going to talk" she sighed walking past me, I grabbed her arm stopping her, fuck I got lost in thought of this nasty place.

"I'm sorry" I blurted out, but what was I sorry for? she was the one who got mad so what was I apologizing for?

"Sorry for what?"

"I actually don't know, why are you mad again cause I don't seem to remember doing anything wrong" she shook her head looking at the floor, she gaze snapped back up to me.

"Are you serious right now you don't even know why we're fighting?"

"No why don't you tell me" I was starting to get angry at her attitude, she was acting like I cheated on her or something.

"Because Draco!" she bursted out "You keep treating fucking Windfront like you love her one moment standing up for her and shit and then the next you are calling her filth and basically slut shaming her. It's confusing me cause I don't know where you stand" she saw her as a threat, how cute.

"I stand with you-"

"And I stand with her along with Pansy, Blaise and Theo. I told you this i'm not throwing my friends away" I finished, those four were more my family then my own two parents.

"Yeah will I guess you'll have to stand without me for a little" she couldn't meet my eyes, I felt my body tense up and freeze at her words. Was she breaking up with me?

"Are you Bre-"

"No, I just need some time. School is stressful enough and all your problems are pushing me past my breaking point, just need some time." She was being fucking ridiculous right now, asking for time. I didn't want time, I don't need time away from her. I just need her, but again we have all the time in the world.

"I don't have problems, you are the only one with a problem right now. I want you and only you, why can't you see that?" she closed her eyes still not meeting my gaze.

"Maybe it's so bad that you can't even see it" see what? I was so confused at what she was saying, what problem did I have. The only problem I would get is not being with her, "Astoria look at me" I demanded. She simply shook her head.

"Astoria-"

"I'll see you around" she rushed past me leaving me standing there, "Astoria I fucking swear" I yelled but she kept walking.

Did I just let her walk right out?No, this is not how this is going to go. I'll give her all the bloody time she want's but I'll still be here, she'll be back. I hope.

But I did the very last thing I ever wanted to do, I pushed her away without even knowing it.