chapter eleven

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James pov

I spent the whole week with Hazel. I visited her at the diner, we went to the beach, played arcade games at the mall, and then we make out on the parking lot. It felt wrong, but she's all I have right now and I couldn't stop myself from giving in.

The summer air was warm with breeze. I heard the hum of the car as I left the diner that evening. Hazel asked for an early leave from her shift so we could go have dinner somewhere else.

I saw Hazel smiled from behind the steering wheel, her head resting against the headrest of the driver's seat as she watched me letting myself inside the car.

Hazel said, "I have plans for dinner."

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"You'll see." she grinned before leaning over to kiss me.

After a short ten minutes later we arrived at a food stall.

"This place serves good homemade pizza. You should try it," said Hazel.

I recalled we had a great time. We dived into our pizza while conversing with ease.

"Man, this is really good. I should bring Maisie here, she would love this." I blurted.

Hazel froze for a moment when I mentioned Maisie. "Let's not talk about anyone else right now, okay? I don't want us to feel awkward, especially after what happened."

I nodded slowly. Damn, I can't remember the last time I called Maisie. Was it last week?

"I want to apologize Hazel. I've been inconsiderate of your feelings. What we did, it should not happen again. But I want us to stay friends, you've treated me so well Hazel, and I feel guilty. I shouldn't-"

My words were cut short by Hazel. "Don't be sorry. While you're here, let's just pretend there's only you and me. There's only us now."

She pressed her lips softly against mine and it succeeded in clearing my mind about whatever thoughts I had before.

"I know you wouldn't feel the same way," she muttered. "I know this is all too much, but my heart is already yours James. Yes, there's no way we could be together but while you're here with me, please let me have the chance to pretend that you're mine to love. Only for this summer, I just want to be loved."

Soon my hand eased into her hair and I tilted her head up to kiss her. Every time her teeth lightly bit my lips, I felt shivers crawl down my spine.

After finishing our pizza, we decided to enjoy the evening in her car. Spending time with Hazel was as good as listening to the calm ocean wave.

"Have you ever fell in love before?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Only once."

"What happened? It's alright if you don't want to talk about it."

"He was our neighbor and he's older than me," she started. "I was very shy and nervous back then. But he was very sweet and gentle to me. He made me laugh and he always made me feel good about myself. I started to open up and become braver. He changed me into someone better. I was so certain he was my future. I don't care that he's older and wiser than me, all I know back then was that I loved him. I loved him very much. He taught me a lot of things, he's the reason for my adrenaline rush. He's the only person I always run to whenever I feel sad. One day I got a call and found out he died in a car crash. My world fell apart when he died," she paused.

"I'm sorry. He sounded like a good man," I sympathized.

"He was a good man," she claimed. "He was always there for me, until he didn't. His death had a huge effect on me. I grieved for him longer than I should, I just couldn't let go of the fact that he's no longer here with me. No one seemed to understand how much he meant to me. They thought I was just a school girl having a huge crush on the neighbor. But they were wrong, what we had was real. Being with him was wild and free. He taught me to not hold back, live my life to the fullest, and enjoy the little things, so that's what I'm doing now."

I feel a twinge of melancholy. I really feel bad for her. She must be devastated to lose her first love like that. I know she's no good for me, but I feel a sudden urge to hug and hold her. I want to let her know that I'm here for her and I won't leave her alone.

"Thank you for sharing your story with me Hazel," I said.

"Don't look at me like that, James. I don't want your pity."

"I know, but you deserve more than this Hazel. I don't want you thinking that I'm taking advantage of you. You deserve more than just a summer fling."

She huffed. "Is that what we are? A summer fling?"

"You're angry with me, I know." I looked at her softly. "I just don't want you to put so much hope in me. I can never be like the man you used to love. Soon summer will be over and so does our relationship."

"Are trying to get rid of me already?" she asked.

"No, of course not." I sighed. "Do you want to go back to my place? We can just hangout."

We finally concluded our day at my place, just chilling at the sofa. We were fine at first, but later that night we had one to many drinks and I found myself tumble into bed with Hazel again.

My nose brushed against her forehead, her fingers curled up against my chest. I sighed when she pressed a light kiss as I tightened my hold of her.

I slid my hands down her back and squeezed it, earning a moan from Hazel. I reflexively buck my hips against her and that's when I saw her eyes sparkling up at me mischievously.

Hazel reached out to hold me with her free hand and I tangled my fingers in her hair. "Hazel," I rasped her name as she took me in her mouth.

"Mhm, that's it James," she crooned before continuing what she was doing with her mouth.

I tried not to let my knees buckle when I come and spilled myself. Everything felt even more arousing after that. Hazel whimpered as I pulled her under me. The summer night air made me shudder but I ignore it and peck her breast a few times.

Once the moment ended, Hazel buried her face into my chest as I held her close to me.

My head was still spinning after drinking too much. It's too late to freak out now, by the time I realized what happened, everything was already done. I've slept with Hazel again, and now her name had stuck inside my head.

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