molten silver ─ hyunjeong ✓

nineteen

"you could stay, you know."

they were wading near the shallow end of the lake, and if they had been further in, jeongin was sure he would have forgotten how to swim when he heard those words. he did, however, trip and practically faceplant into the water. he pushed himself up, trying to pass it off as intentional. hyunjin seemed unphased by the ungraceful splashing, only staring at jeongin intently.

jeongin stared back, and the water moved in soft ripples around them, calm and tranquil.

his emotions were anything but.

"what do you mean?" he didn't want to entertain the conversation, to give hyunjin the false hope that he wasn't going to leave, but the words snagged a small part of his heart. stay.

"i could convince my parents, try have them understand..." he paused, arms coming to hug himself, "...or we could... leave together..."

"what?" jeongin's eyebrows shot up, unsure if he were hearing it correctly. "you want to run away with me?"

"if they truly can't understand. if it is with you, i would go to the ends of the earth."

jeongin felt warmth blooming in his chest, but kept himself back from going forward and wrapping his arms around the nymph. because he didn't really mean it. of course jeongin knew that hyunjin's feelings for him were pure, his intentions true. but he loved his home, and even if he said he were willing to leave it, he would never truly mean it.

"you don't mean that," jeongin said softly, his tone matching that of a parent telling a toddler that their pet had passed, "i know you don't."

"and how do you know that?" hyunjin's beautiful features twisted into a frown, speckles of anger making his eyes glint,

jeongin didn't back down, "i know because you always say that you need to get away, to feel free. all this time you had the other side of the lake, you could have left if you wanted to, if this world was that suffocating. but you always returned, why? because despite everything, you're still connected to your home. to everything it's given you."

hyunjin opened his mouth to respond angrily, but jeongin blazed on, "i can't be your reason to leave, hyunjin. you need to be the reason you leave. the reason you want to leave. can you truly tell me that you aren't just doing this for me? can you?"

the world around them was silent, but even the silence seemed to deafen them. the feeling of the water against his skin felt like thorns, piercing and poisoning. jeongin wasn't sure when hyunjin had started crying, or when he himself had started crying. hot, angry tears falling into the water with soft sounds.

finally, hyunjin caught his gaze as he swallowed heavily, "how come you seem to know me better than i know myself?"

"because i think we're the same." the realisation dawned on him just as he said it, jeongin licked his lips, suddenly dry and feeling as though they'd crack from the simplest exhale. "that's why i need to go back... not just because your family is returning. i need to go back because i want to fix what's left of my own family. because... because i think... deep down... i believe that i can."

hyunjin had fallen silent, watching him with silver-lined eyes, starry under the reflection of the sun against water. suddenly he moved forward, water rippling around him in a fluid dance as he took jeongin's face in his hands, "i think i could have loved you."

jeongin held back a sob.

"i need you to know that you were never... some ephemeral adventure i sought for temporary distraction," hyunjin cupped his cheek, catching a tear as it fell and wiping it away. "you were a missing piece, and i shall forever be grateful to the gods, to let me have you, even if i yearn for more time together. because i truly, wholly believe that i could have loved you."

hyunjin's voice cracked, and jeongin's heart cracked along with it. he didn't trust himself to speak, to be able to weave words as beautifully as hyunjin did. so he placed a hand over the one cupping his cheek, leaning into the touch, and hoped hyunjin understood.

a soft brush of hyunjin's lips on his was the only assurance that he did. he pulled back, but hyunjin's hand slid to the back of his neck, keeping him there. their breaths mingled, and jeongin held hyunjin's gaze.

hyunjin held so much in his eyes, a sea of stars. they were calm, they always were, but so so deep. jeongin could see the dreams in those murky depths, the tendrils of hope, stitching together to make this nymph. this boy who would fight against the world that tried to trap him.

jeongin felt... pride. he was proud of hyunjin. and he... he was proud of himself. because he had done it, he had looked into his own mind, his own soul, and not balked at the raw emotion he saw there. he had accepted it, gained strength from it.

"i couldn't have done it without you," jeongin said, sliding his own arms around hyunjin's shoulders. not to pull him closer, but to just hold him there. to gaze into his beautiful eyes.

jeongin really liked hyunjin's eyes.

"one more night," hyunjin whispered, tears welling in his eyes, "just stay one more night. we'll go to the silverfly field, just for one night. i promise it'll be worth it."

jeongin couldn't find it in his heart to say no.

just one more night. he could do that.

and he couldn't lie and say that he didn't want it too.