With Thunderous Applause

The Wisdom of A Wife

Anakin couldn't sleep. Even the calm that fell over the Lake House in Naboo nor the steady breathing of Padmé by his side was enough to slow his mind. Master Yoda had sent him on this meditative retreat as a result of Anakin's coming to him about his nightmares. He was supposed to find the bigger picture of what his nightmares meant.

Anakin thought it was pretty obvious, considering what had happened before with his mother. He turned his head toward Padmé, and his heart ached in return. How could he distract himself from her safety in pursuit of a possible alternative?

She was safe now. No one knew either one of them were here. He could try now. Anakin rested his hand on Padmé's slightly extended belly, and aligned his breathing with her own. He reached out toward the light, side stepping the shards of darkness that tried to stab their way through his connection to the force.

Anakin focused on the good that was Padmé, the pure that was their child residing beneath his palm, and asked in earnest for their safety above all else, even his own. In slowing his own breath, and calming his mind, Anakin's exhausted body finally took the cue to slip into sleep, abruptly cutting his mind off from any further meditation.

Without the conscious mind, the shards of darkness seeped into Anakin. They had been thrown from a very long way away, but their aim was true for Anakin's heart was plain upon his sleeve, a quality that should have been revered instead of exploited.

Horrible images flashed behind his eyes. The scent of brimstone threatened to suffocate him. Padmé was crying, her arms outreached to him. In the distance, a baby was crying. Obi-Wan looked down on him from above, disappointment in his eyes. Anakin's lightsaber was a breath away, a dark red consuming the blue. He grabbed onto the hilt and felt it shaking, until a sharp crack rang in his ears. He ripped away the casing to reveal the crystal beneath. It was broken in half, a dark red pouring from the wound.

Anakin woke with a start, clutching at the headboard to keep himself from tumbling right off the edge of the bed. He reached out and shivered as the cool metal of his saber flew into his palm. He rose from the bed, and sat at one of the big armchairs positioned past the foot of the bed.

He hesitated, wondering if this was truly the answer he was receiving from the force. Anakin swallowed and ignited his saber. At the very same moment, a crack of lightning cut across the sky, the two lights collided, giving the illusion of a flash of red. Anakin jumped to his feet. The disengaged saber dropped from his hand and rolled under the second armchair.

As always, the grumble of thunder followed, rousing Padmé from her sleep. When she blinked her eyes open and found Anakin no longer beside her, she pushed herself up. It only took a moment to find him. He stood stiff as a board at the foot of their bed.

"Ani, it was only the storm. They're quite frequent here."

Anakin gave no indication of having heard her, so Padmé wiggled her growing body out of bed and approached him. She then saw there were silent tears streaming down his face. She rushed to close the distance between them, cupping his face with her hands and wiping his tears away.

"What is it? Another nightmare?"

Anakin's glazed over eyes finally snapped into recognition. He jerked away from Padmé, folding his arms across his chest, physically curling into his shame.

Padmé's hands folded on her stomach and her eyebrow raised in question. She would wait for her answer as long as he needed to process what was racing in his mind. Padmé looked over her husband, and anger started to fill her gut. She may not understand all the ways of the Jedi, but why could they not help him? Did they not see the conflict that was tearing him up?

She worried if they waited much longer with their vague prescriptions of meditation that her husband may never be the same.

"It's red," Anakin whispered, his words quivering. "I've failed."

Padmé's mind whirled. Red? She looked around the room. Her eyes caught a glint in the moonlight. His saber.

"Love, your saber is as blue as the lake."

Anakin shook his head. "Not anymore. I've tried to walk in the light since Tatooine. I've done all they've asked. I've fought in the war. I've trained Ashoka to the best of my ability... It wasn't enough to save you." His shoulders shook as a sob rocked the room. Anakin leaned against a nearby wardrobe. He could no longer take this weight.

Padmé could stand it no longer. With Anakin's gaze averted, she crouched and reached for the thrown saber. As she stood to her full height once more, she weighed the saber in her hand. It was heavier than she remembered. She frowned. Such a fuss for what was essentially a stick.

Anakin flickered his eyes to his wife, and his mouth dropped open to see her standing there with his saber. He stepped toward her. "What... Padmé, don't."

She locked eyes with him and held her arm out. As she ignited the saber, Anakin squeezed his eyes closed.

Padmé smiled. Even though it was just a stick, it did glow brilliantly, and the hum was quite soothing. She swished the saber slowly back and forth, and it hummed in reply.

Anakin cracked an eye open to see Padmé bathed in blue, her white nightgown illuminating the rest of the room. Her eyes softly followed the saber's lazy path. "See?" she said. "Just like the lake."

He approached slowly. "I don't understand."

"I respect the Jedi very much, but I don't believe any one of us is meant to know the future. You have been a brilliant leader in the war, a wonderful teacher to Ashoka. These are the things that build your future, not dreams. We create our future through our actions everyday."

Padmé disengaged the saber, and outreached it to Anakin, who made no move toward it. She set it on the chair before taking his hands in her own.

She continued, trying to make him see what she saw. "Build a future with me, Ani, starting tonight. Please, for your sake, leave this particular Jedi practice behind you. Don't give these visions...dreams one more ounce of your time. It's far too precious to waste."

Anakin lowered his head to press a kiss to Padmé's forehead, her left cheek, her nose which caused her to laugh, her right cheek, and finally her lips.

Anakin took the deepest breath of his life. "Thank you for seeing clearly enough for the both of us."

Padmé smiled. "What are wives for if not to bring wisdom to their husbands?"

"Hey, are you calling me dumb?"

Padmé laughed, "Would overly passionate be better?"

Anakin's lips dropped into a playful pout. He yanked Padmé closer and dropped his head as if he would kiss her once more. As her eyes fluttered closed in anticipation, Anakin instead reached for her side to the soft dip just under her ribcage and began tickling her furiously. Padmé's laughter rang through the whole house.

He stopped to gently scoop her up in his arms and place her back on her side of the bed. Padmé was still gasping for air when Anakin fell onto his side. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Tomorrow we'll go for a swim in the lake, and do all the things we did the first time we were here."

"Really?" Padmé asked.

"Yes," Anakin affirmed. He then placed his last kiss of the night on the peak of Padmé's stomach. "We gotta show the little one all the best spots as soon as possible. This time is precious."

Padmé's eyes brimmed with tears as Anakin placed his head on her chest, his hand resting on her stomach. This was the man she married. This was the father of her baby. She idly ran her fingers through his hair.

As the two both fell into sleep once more, those shards of darkness began their descent. Only this time they appeared to ping off of Padmé's fingers, missing their target for the first time.