Take my Hand (A KYLO REN X READER)

Chapter Thirteen.

"I'm sorr- I- I don't know how to make you trust me or believe me. All I have is what I've told you" you struggled to speak as you suddenly felt you were in danger.

She laughed and leaned back away from your face. "Oh sweet child. I'll never trust you. No one ever trusts anyone, that's a sign of weakness. However, believing your story is still a possibility. Do you know who's data pad you used to track me?" She asked reaching for it as it sat on the coffee table in front of you. Marshall had stepped back in holding a dress on a hanger that was obviously meant for you. He stood patiently waiting behind her for instructions.

"This one belonged to one of my men, his name was Thomas" you saw Mitchell stiffen behind her and clench his fist. "Thomas was young but he had a big future ahead of him I could tell. He was going to be just.. like.. his.. dad. Isn't that right mitchel" she held her hand out for him to hand her the garment without looking back at him. He moved it to her hand and gave a slow nod yes. "Oh this is perfect. Here child. Wear the dress that the father of a boy you so easily killed fetched for you. The bathroom is over there" she pointed behind you.

Your eyes fell on Mitchell and your jaw dropped. You couldn't see his face but you could feel his pain as he stood there looking at his sons killer. Your mind began racing and images of you slashing through red leathered men came flooding in. You thought you had felt so powerful, so strong, so in charge. You thought you'd be a leader, and everyone would fear you. Instead now, you felt disgusting. You had killed people. Real living people with families. They didn't feel like real people when your saber ran red hot through their bodies. That last thought knew what that made you.

A murderer... A monster.

Tears began to fall one by one down your cheek as you sat frozen facing the truth of what you were and looking at Mitchell.

"Oh sweetie don't cry" she laughed wiping a tear from your cheek. "It's the price we all pay isn't it? When we chose this life. We chose to be okay with killing anyone. Even those with families to go home to" she hissed and you sensed the anger building in her remembering why she was doing all of this in the first place. "Don't feel guilty now. It's far too late for that. Now go get dressed, we aren't done".

She gave your shoulder a light nudge encouraging you to stand. Her touch snapped you out of your gaze with Mitchell and you stood slowly stepping to the bathroom. You tried to compose yourself and find the strength inside of you that had made you feel powerful before so you could continue this act. Your pull to the darkness was faltering as you were questioning everything again.

"Run yourself a bath and take your time" she said as you reached the bathroom door slowly shutting it without turning back to see her. You didn't want her to see the weakness in your face. Your hand froze on the door as you debated locking it but ultimately decided not to, as a sign to Aurelia she could keep an eye on you and you wouldn't care, just incase she tried.

You ran the bath water and began to slowly slide off the dress as you inspected the injuries for a second time. You remembered the look in Kylos eyes and the rage burning within him as he so easily attacked you. He could have killed you and not even flinched.

You shakily climbed into the bath and let the water swallow you as you found your position. The tub was large and could easily fit four grown men, so when you sank into it you felt so small. You pulled your knees to your chest and rested your chin on them.

How could you be so dumb? How could you give into the dark so easy? How could you take Kylos hand?

Then your mind began racing to Poe and the look on his face every time he watched you leave. You couldn't figure out why he even still cared about you after everything you'd done. He had to see by now that you weren't any good, right?