The Truth That Lies (WangXian Modern AU)

02

Scratching the back of his neck, Ning gives me a sheepish smile. I groan, massaging the bridge of my nose.

"Uh . . . Mr. Wei," he says. I sigh—I'm not getting used to this. "Did Jie and Cheng tell you something?"

"Nothing except for yelling at me on a daily basis. Why?"

"Oh. No, it must be nothing," he says. "They're just worried about you."

I sigh. "I'm fine, Ning." I groan.

Ning turns around to look at me, and smiles, rather compassionately. "If you say so, Mr. Wei."

Only that, later, I found that it was indeed nothing at all, and I was, by all means, 'fine'.

I was trying to shift my mood with a coffee, as I blankly stared at the dying sun getting close to the horizon through the window of my apartment.

I've been having this weird feeling since morning; something that kept on shifting between anxiousness and excitement, keeping me at the edge all day. Added to that, what Ning said this evening kept on bothering me.

Why would he ask if Cheng had told me something? Was it something serious?

To my despair, the coffee only made it worse. Still, I kept on sipping it out of habit.

Habits... Sometimes I feel like I've made myself a prisoner of my own dailies. In a few hours, I may sleep; then wake up; then work; then visit the studio. Come home. Then I'll have another coffee on another day. And repeat. But this routine and its sense of continuation had become the only thing that keeps me going.

The doorbell blows off bringing me back to Earth. I leave my mug on the coffee table with a sigh and proceed towards it.

I open the door and—what the—I blink, but still, the person I hadn't seen for seven years was standing in front of me.

Those stunning eyes, the silky hair, sharp features that made me stare all the time, the lips that once drove me insane—He's standing there wearing a long brown coat and over his white shirt with a scarf around his neck with his usual inexpressive face as if he does this daily. 

I've pictured him in front of my door too many times. So I stare till I'm sure that this is not a mere illusion.

"Lan Zhan?" was all I could mumble

No, I feel nothing for him. I tell myself. But that was after my arms worked on their own to wrap around his neck. I blink away the tears that formed with no explanation. 

This definitely is not how I should be greeting my ex-boyfriend who left and I don't want anything with, but then he hugs me back, letting out a small chuckle before burying his face into my shoulder.

"You're not supposed to be here," I mutter as I pull away, but still let him in and close the door.

I could only stare at his eyes when he comes close to me and puts his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him. His face was only a few inches away from mine, and it did not help the raging feelings I had inside—fuck, no, I did not have any feelings inside.

"Why—what are you doing here," defeated, I mumble.

"I want you, Wei Ying." That's the first thing he says to me in seven years, and I give in like a fool.

All the desire that I carefully bottled up in all these years comes out gushing like water from a broken dam.

I couldn't help it when I crash my lips to him and wrap my legs around his hip, making him push me against the wall. Neither could I help it when I remove his scarf and part his coat and proceed to his shirt to unbutton it.

I could only keep on telling myself that we should stop, as I got lost in the relentless bliss he made me feel in his arms.

No conversations, no explanations, we were lost in the feelings we never moved on from. I was releasing it all on him, and I wasn't supposed to.

But what can I do when I've got what I craved, what I missed, this close to me? It's a hunger that never stops, but so is the pain that comes after.

I was lying on my bed with my back facing Lan Zhan, clutching the sheets in my hands, constantly swaying between emotions of two far-away ends.

"Wei Ying," I hear Lan Zhan say behind me. I quickly close my eyes pretending to be asleep.

I could feel the press on the mattress when he shifts his weight to his hand to look over me. With a sigh, he kisses my ear and lies down again. But this time he wraps his hands around my waist in a gentle embrace.

"I love you." He whispers and my eyes flutter open, along with the tear that escaped them.

Extra:

credits: mmungnothing on Twitter

Here go the first two chapters!!
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