Hopelessly Hung Up On You

Chapter 21: No Matter What I Like You

"Look we can talk after or something...I'm busy," I mutter as I shuffle in my seat and turn away uncomfortably.

Derek giggles. "Aww look I get you all worked up a little bit and you're all red."

"Derek stop!," I firmly state, turning my attention to him. We make eye contact and I look away immediately flustered. "You can't do that," I tell him, my voice trailing off at the end. He puts his hand on my shoulder and I look up again. He looks at me and even though he has a light smile on his face and his eyes are shining, I just can't forget how he looked at me at my birthday party. "Derek, why are you being so annoying right now?"

"I'm trying to talk to you about things," he calmly replies, a thin smile still on his face. "And calm you down."

I move my shoulder to nudge him off of me. "Well, I don't really want to talk to you right now. You should know that. What's there to really talk about? I'm fine." I wave my hand for him to leave the counter and leave me alone, but he remains in the same spot, elbows on the counter, his chin resting on his hands.

"See...you say that, but you're acting completely different. If you were fine you wouldn't be so upset right now. You've never been so mean to me." He's right. Even with all the teasing, I've never been this harsh to him. Hearing him say that kind of crushes me because deep down I know I don't want to be mean to him. I still really like him. "So clearly you aren't fine."

An awkward silence fills the room as I continue to stare at the computer, hoping he goes away. He continues to stand there and I know he won't budge until I give him what he wants. I feel my expression get less tense and angry...a sign that I'm starting to loosen up. "Yeah, well can you blame me? I haven't seen you in forever and you didn't really give me the time of day last time we talked so yeah. I don't really know why you care anyway."

"Look I--Well I haven't seen you since your birthday party--" he begins to say.

"Yes. My birthday party where I got shitfaced and did a lot of stupid things. A lot of stupid things that I regre--"

"Jacob, I'm not gonna talk to you if you don't want me to. I just...wanna know. Do you really like me?" he cuts me off, making the tense atmosphere come to a standstill.

There it is. The question that will start the exact conversation I wanted to avoid. I told him I liked him while I was drunk at my birthday...multiple times. I told him I liked him via text the next day. And yet both times he didn't say anything and acted like I said nothing. Now two days later and he wants me to tell him again in-person? What is the end-game here? I want to walk out. I feel like I can't breathe. Why can't he just leave me alone?

"Yes, Derek. I like you. I told you this already. How many times do you want me to tell you? I--"

"Since when have you liked me?" he cuts me off with another question.

"Derek don't ask me--"

"Honestly I really want to know!" he cuts me off again. "Answer me Jacob pleaseee," he cutely pleads. "When did you start liking me?"

I roll my eyes and look at him. He's looking at me with the same expression he always makes when he looks at me with that same smile. The one that makes me feel so special. I tried to ignore it this whole time, and I don't know why, but I can feel the foundations keeping my guard up start to crack. I take a deep breath. I mean he already knows I like him and I can't be him regardless. I probably won't see him for a while after this anyway. Finals are coming up. What's there to lose?

"I don't know. It wasn't long after we met. Even before you started working here and I saw you for the first time...I thought you were cute. Then, after you started working here I started crushing on you pretty early on. When we started talking more and the more I got to know you and stuff...my feelings for you grew." It's so hard to say all of this without getting all flustered. I can barely look at Derek. Where is a customer when I need one?

Derek smiles at me, leaning forward on the counter a bit more. I back away in nervousness. Why is he being so weird? "So how do you know you like me?" he follows-up.

I put my elbows on the counter, covering my eyes with my hands. I pretend to claw my eyes out and groan. He pulls my hands away from my face and angles his head, signaling me to keep talking. "I--I don't even know why I'm telling you this." I pause before looking at him. He's still listening intently. Clearly, I've piqued his interest now.

"E-Everytime I see you I feel like my heart skips a beat. I get so happy every time I see you and when we talk you just make me have all these feelings inside. The butterflies in my stomach go crazy, I feel all warm and feel like they're just going to explode," my voice trails off a bit.

Derek places his hand on top of mine. "Calm down Jacob. You're okay." I feel myself get red and before I can pull my hand away he grips it. "I really make you feel like that?" I nod. He chuckles. "Go on."

He's driving me crazy. "Derek..." He gives me a knowing look and smirks.

"I mean other than the fact we have interests and hobbies in common, y-you have this quiet attractiveness to you. You don't say much but you still manage to radiate confidence. It's charming. And even though you don't say much, when you do talk you can be pretty funny. I f-feel like...we complement each other. Opposites. Maybe that's why. All I know is that even though you may come off as boring to some people I think once you scratch the surface, there's a lot more that lies beneath...and every time we interact I just know how you make me feel. You make me feel so happy and warm inside."

Derek doesn't say anything for the next few seconds. I look away flustered and embarrassed. I can't believe this is happening. He holds my hand once again. "You really like me then?"

I glance at our hands then meet his eyes quickly before I look away again. "I--No matter what...I-I like you Derek Falkner," I barely say above a whisper, my eyes starting to tear up from the saturation of feelings.

Then the last thing I expect to happen happens. Derek Falkner quickly leans forward, places his lips on mine, and kisses me.