Pushing Up Daisies

Chapter 25 : We Never Go Out of Style

"No, you clearly are not." She's instantly outstretched over me when she sees I'm taking off. "Listen. I get what you're feeling, dear, you're lonely and upset with how the world treats you. I've been down this road before. But you should know, God's always beside you. He's with you, no matter what."

I know she knows that I'm annoyed since I exhale sharply in front of her. "You just said to me that you're not forcing me into religion," I tell her, trying my best to keep my tone calm.

"I am not. I'm just telling you the truth. Listen, girl. You are who I was years ago. I see my old self in you, wandering around the city in the middle of the night, trying not to be noticed as you're crying."

I pull my coat further around myself and secretly chuckle. "I'm really thankful for you, but I still resist. So sorry. You're not me, you don't know what I've been through. Goodnight," I spit and begin to walk away. Then, she reaches out a small card towards me.

"You're right. I am not you. I don't know how you're dealing with the cruel obstacles by all yourself. But if you have some spare time and want to vent your unsolvable problems, this's the small church nearby here. There are lots of people who always can listen to you and share stories with you. You can come whenever you want. No charging and free food."

She smiles honestly as reaching me a card, and when I look at her closely, I just notice that she doesn't look older than me that much. Apparently, she seems just few years above me.

Granted, I decide to take the card from her and raise it above my head, as if I'm telling her you've got me, okay? She says thank you and then we separate to our each ways.

* * *

"So this is the pictures I've been drawing lately? What'd you think, Daisies?...Honey?...Daisies?"

I totally flinch when Dad taps my arm like he just woke me up from daydreaming. "Yep. Sorry. I lost in my mind. What did you just say?" I clap my hands onto my skirt, adjusting myself on the bench to look at him particularly.

"Uhh...nothing. It's just some pics, you know." Dad scratches the side of his neck, stuffing drawing papers together and I sort of feel bad for him.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to ignore you," I apologetically confess and take a quick glare on my watch to remind me I don't have tons of time to live with him.

We're sitting on the bench beside the canal next to the prison building, and there are few prison officers been keeping eyes on us from ten feet apart. Sort of less than thirteen minutes, these guys are going to rush their feet up and take my dad back inside, but I was just wasting time for minutes to overthink about useless things while Dad was showing how he's doing. I feel such a bad daughter. I better focus on him and spend time with him as much as I could.

"It's okay, honey. We have more time to talk. Maybe tomorrow I could show you more about my drawings. You're going to come here everyday, aren't you?" he says and smiles sincerely. I could see he's very happy when I told him that I'm going to visit him every day.

I nod, forcing a smile on. "Sure. I'm back here now. I'm coming to you every day, Dad," I honestly assure him and he grips my hand, excitedly smiling. I gently squeeze his hand and then ask, "Well, you need more crayons or anything else. You know I could pass you everything you need, except illicit stuff," I joke.

He laughs. "Yea. Yea. I better get my ass out of here soon. I shouldn't beat myself to get arrested more longer. My daughter awaits."

"That's my badass Dad. I love you."

Then we giggle at my miserable joke. I plant a small kiss on his cheek.

"I love you, no matter what, you know that right?" he says, almost whispers. I nod as the answer, and then he starts to sit straight, face to face with him. I could see he's literally serious as he says, "Stop crying to yourself, Daisies. I know you're not okay."