Et Nos Cedamus Amori

XXX.

Brett didn't say anything more but just entered the home. He sat down on the couch wordlessly and waited for Eddy to speak. Eddy sat down next to Brett and decided to speak up.

"I couldn't sleep recently..."

"Why is that, Eddy? Are you okay?" Brett asked, facing his best friend.

"I don't know what I feel anymore... I still love her even after we broke up like three months ago. I feel like I wouldn't be loved like that again. Like I wouldn't be loved so unconditionally again." Eddy said with despair. "But at the same time, I felt guilty for taking her love. I feel like I wasn't giving all of them my entire love." Eddy explained.

"Them?"

"Both of them. As much as I wanted to love them both unconditionally, it feels like my heart is reserved for someone else. I don't feel completely in love with them." Eddy started, looking back in Brett's soft stare. "Maybe, you were right about soulmates. Maybe they do exist and I have to start looking for mine." Eddy added.

Brett had no words for that, but he wanted to scream. To scream to Eddy that he was already there but he wanted to be civil. He just nodded as a confirmation for Eddy.

"You know, your words will be reassuring now." Eddy said jokingly but Brett knew he meant it.

"I agree... But don't feel pressured to do so. If it's a soulmate, you'll feel and see it. Don't worry too much, okay? You don't always need someone to love you. Loving yourself is much powerful." Brett said hesitantly, trying to mean it.

"If I ask you a question, would you answer it honestly?"

"Of course I will. I never lied to you." Brett said, meaning it.

Eddy took a deep breath and just spoke his mind.

"Do you still love me?"

"It depends on what you want to hear. Would you hate me if I tell you that I still do?" Brett asked back, looking at his best friend with so much love.

"No... I don't hate you. I could never hate you even if I tried." Eddy said honestly, too.

"Then I still love you. Like I said two years ago... I'm not expecting you to return the feeling. I just answered you because you asked me to be honest." Brett replied, not looking anymore.

Eddy nodded, not knowing why he asked. He smiled at Brett, looking at his friend who was looking away from him.

"Well, I'm glad that someone still loves me... But why, Brett? After all these years, you still love me. Why, Brett? Don't get me wrong, I'm not invalidating your feelings. I just don't get how you could love me for so long?" Eddy asked again, not knowing the response he'll get but wanting to hear it anyway.

"Not that I could stop ever loving. It's just, you're you. I can't help but love you and there's days where I hoped I would stop because even if I did love you, it's not enough. I respected the boundary you set, me as your best friend almost like your brother. You know, I was, I never had a hard time loving you... It always came so easy and I don't regret any of the times I did love you." Brett said honestly.

"But how come you never let me know again and again until it's drilled to my head?" Eddy asked, nearing Brett.

"I didn't wanna force my love..." Brett replied, leaning in the touch subconsciously. "I wanted you to love me because you wanted to." Brett added, trying to add the distance between them.

"Brett, I-"

"Eddy, I know. It's okay... I'm okay. We're okay." Brett reassured.

"Thank you..." Eddy said, smiling at Brett. "Have you heard the news?" Eddy asked.

"Yeah..." Brett replied.

"It's very good news. I'm happy for the people who could now marry their partners."

"Me too..."

The silence between them was comfortable. They were okay. Brett wasn't lying when he said that they will be okay.

Eddy looked at his friend who had his eyes closed. Something in his chest fluttered at the sight. Brett was leaning back on the couch and his eyes were closed. He looked so much in peace, no worries etched on his face. This was one of the rarest moments he had not seen in a while.

Eddy felt a breath of air lost in his system and his stomach with a certain heaviness. He feels happy now. He's very, very happy.

"Brett?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you really happy? I know that this isn't entirely your dream."

"It isn't, but it's better than my dream. I'm really happy where I stand in my life, Eddy. I wouldn't ask for more because I have been given more than I needed." Brett said honestly.

Eddy was hanging on to the words as though it were his own words. As though they were his prayers and he wished they were. That's when it all hit Eddy. All at once with a heavy slap...

He completely was in love.