Et Nos Cedamus Amori

X.

"Oh, that is a pain, trust me. It comes in visions, thoughts and feelings you can't explain. The weirdest one is when it begs you." Brett explained.

"You've felt this... Before?" Jordon asked, confused, lost.

Jordon felt like his past self more than his own at this moment.

"Yeah... It's very painful... The pain doesn't disappear but we have to take in mind that this is our life now. Only we have control." Brett comforted, petting Jordon's head from across the table a while ago.

Jordon tried to remember what his soul had told him, only to end up at the thought of his friend with a pounding heart. Why was this so conflicting? Jordon didn't know why he can't stop thinking about it.

- - - - -

"I never see you around that much anymore... How are you?" Brett asked from across the table, sipping on his bubble tea.

The sweet taste exploded in his mouth, the tea stronger than he would usually order it. Brett needs the reminder, though. Sometimes, the bitter is healthier than the sweet. That should apply to his pining too.

"I'm fine... Things are going steady and great with me and Toni. I even introduced her to ma and pa. Belle loved her, too." Eddy said, smiling at his friend.

"That's great! I'm glad it went well for you and Toni." Brett said, mustering up all the sincerity he had in his body.

He might be in love with Eddy but he isn't going to ruin it for his best friend. Eddy was happy and so Brett should be happy for them, too.

"I know... I mostly wasn't scared of her meeting pa and Belle, but ma's a different story..." Eddy said, chuckling as he sipped his respective bubble tea.

"I know what you mean, bro... Asian mom's are hard to please. When they hear you're bringing a girl over to meet them, the first thing that comes to their minds is you're immediately getting married." Brett joked, as he looked at Eddy.

Eddy was quiet for a while.

"I really was planning on marrying her." Eddy said quietly.

Brett almost choked on the pearls he was chewing. He coughed but sipped again in order to bring the pearls down. He lifted the straw a little so that the milk tea is the only one that gets drank.

"Like, you proposed to her and all?" Brett asked once he wasn't coughing.

"I do wanna marry her. Just not now... Sometime in the future, when I'm earning a lot already." Eddy said, smiling proudly. "Anyway, thank you for encouraging me to come after her... You knew I couldn't lose her, so thank you Brett. I owe it all to you." Eddy added.

"It was nothing... Thank you for the bubble tea. It's really good." Brett said, looking at Eddy briefly before turning his eyes away immediately.

"You're automatically the best man on my wedding, Brett. I swear... That's my promise to you." Eddy said, obliviously chewing on his pearls.

"That's great! And of course, I better be. Or else I wouldn't attend your wedding." Brett said, trying to pass it off as a joke.

They now enjoyed the silence. For Eddy it was comfortable just being around Brett, even if they aren't doing anything in particular. Brett felt awkward. He always knew Eddy was serious about Toni. Brett just never knew he had thought this far ahead.

Brett never knew he'd had to imagine Eddy getting married. Eddy was one who didn't believe in marriage because it makes everything complicated than just being together and starting a home. Brett could almost imagine it already. Oh, what a sight to behold.

After a few more minutes, Eddy's phone rang. It shocked both of them back to reality. Eddy hurriedly checked his phone and read the message.

"Shit... I forgot I had a date. Is it ok if I go now? I'll make it up to you next time." Eddy asked for permission but he would've gone whether Brett's answer was a yes or a no.

"Yeah, it's cool. No worries. Enjoy your date, lover boy." Brett said, but Eddy didn't hear the rest of it as he already was speeding off.

Brett looked at the space in front of him longingly. He sighed as he took another sip. Brett was happy for Eddy and Toni, he really was. It's just, he's human. He feels pain even if he didn't have the right to feel them.

He could feel the pain from his stomach going up to his chest and his throat. It's like the world was suffocating him. Of course, he was overreacting. Brett always did. The pain doesn't hit that strong and sudden.

The pain of loving someone who doesn't love you back isn't always a strong and sudden pain. It's slow and gradual. It's not a sudden forest fire but rather a house fire that starts from one room, spreading to another. Until the entire house is in flames, eventually, the neighbor's houses will get infested by the flame, too.

It isn't a hailstorm that just occurred one day. It's the pinpricks of snow when you are out with thin clothes. It is the snow that builds up and up and up and up in your doorstep until you can't get out. You're in deep, deep snow but you never notice until you try to get out of the house.

With that, Brett decides to just go home.