A fucked up love story

My fucked up love.

"So just when you think that true loves begun it goes off at any second just like a loaded gun" - levitate by hollywood undead. Quote of the story😁.

Yano it's weird to think that you've found "the one" it's weird to imagine spending the rest of your life with one person... it never happens an you know why? Because a person can never be completely happy. Nah there is always some thing missing, you could have everything you thought you would ever want and then all of sudden your world is crushed by something to small, so irrelevant that you wouldn't even think it could hurt you. but it does. every time.

See, a while ago I thought I met the person who would make my life complete, but I still feel alone, I always feel alone because I feel like I'm doing everything alone.

Me? I'm pretty fucked up though, like I've done a lot of wrong stuff in my life. unforgivable things to my family, but yet here I sit in my mums home forgiven.
I don't deserve to be forgiven though so I don't see why I was forgiven.
Sometimes I don't think how much he realises I hurting, I don't think anyone does really.

I am so dedicated to him, would do anything for him anything to make him happy an yet I still feel like it's not enough.
I get butterflies in my tummy whenever he's near, his kisses make sparks go off all over my body. The way he looks at me makes me feel beautiful, but then all of sudden it's gone... all of it... Why? Because I don't think he loves me. I don't think he cares for me as much as I care for him. why is it so hard to want to make someone happy? Because that's all I wanna do... make him happy. yeah I understand I'm a little difficult I know I'm stressy a lot, I know I can be argumentative but.. but I love you and you can't see it.

You know when I look In his eyes I see my future... when he looks in mine all he sees in my brown eyes. he sees nothing.