2 (jaylor) ethereal daylight and golden epiphanies

chapter twenty five.

The walk home was quiet, the cicadas were buzzing in the trees, and the sun was shining brightly. It was the perfect temperature, not too hot or too cold.
"What do you want to do when we get home?" Joe asked as they turned into the driveway.
"I really have to be working on a couple more songs," she sighed. "The release date is coming around so fast, I've only got seven of them written so far - and there's supposed to be about seventeen of them." She was always thinking ahead, always trying to come up with new ideas. Aaron had sent her a couple of tracks, to which she'd half finished a song, but she had yet to finish them and send them back to him. "I was wondering if you'd like to work on Champagne Problems with me this afternoon," she asked. "I've got the bridge written, but that's about it... and you're so good at coming up with stories. And I don't want it to appear as if we've just heard Patrick's story and copied it."
"Of course I'll help you - we write great songs together."
"And Justin is all in for singing another song with me - which is just so exciting! I can't believe how lucky these last three years have been. I just can't comprehend how much my life has changed. And it's all because of you. All of it. It's all changed for the better because of you, Joe." She'd never stop telling him that, never stop telling him how much he'd helped her.
"It's not just because of me," he turned to look at her. "You've changed too - I don't think that you even realise it, but you have. You've changed over the last three years. You're always smiling. When I first met you, I thought that I'd never get to see that smile. You had everyone convinced that you were happy, that the little grin you did... that was your smile. But it wasn't." He chuckled. "Of course it wasn't. Your smile sparkles, Taylor."
Taylor laughed. "It does not!"
"It most definitely does. It's contagious."

"What about we start it from the moments after she said no?" Joe suggested as he slowly walked backwards and forwards across the room, Thea in his arms. "What if people aren't exactly sure what the song is about until the bridge? The bridge that you've written is beautiful - so raw and emotional. What if we leave them guessing what happened until the very end... if we leave them little clues about what happened that night, but it's all confirmed in the bridge?"
Joe had come up with the piano for it this afternoon, and the day was fading into night outside.
"I think she really likes the piano," Joe smiled. "She's just like us then, isn't she?" Taylor laughed. She stopped playing. "She can almost hold her head up when she's on her tummy," she grinned. If there was one thing she could talk about for the rest of her life, it would be the little girl that was in Joe's arms. Taylor just loved her so much. Everything she was doing, even just sleeping, was the most precious thing in Taylor's entire world. Thea was getting bigger and stronger every single day, she was smiling more, she was holding her head up, was looking around at everything more. Taylor and Joe had even started to read to her - just small books so that Thea could get used to their voices. It was the sweetest thing - she'd started to follow then around her room with her eyes, started to know when they were with her. Started to pay attention to their faces. It was such a special time, and Taylor couldn't believe that she was experiencing it. It just seemed like she didn't deserve to see something that beautiful. She'd been trying really hard to get rid of that mindset, that she didn't deserve to see all of those things. Joe had been careful to remind her of how deserving of it all she was, but sometimes her mind got the better of her. She was getting better at shutting those thoughts out. At telling herself that she did deserve this.
Taylor checked her phone, seeing that it was nearly eight o'clock at night - the day had slipped away.
"It's time to put this little one to bed," she smiled as she stood up. Both her and Joe had been working hard to get a routine going. It was hard, but it had been working so far. They would turn the lights down in the house, dim them while they were getting her ready for bed. "I think that bath time might be my absolute favourite part of all of it - wait... mmmm... no, uh. I can't decide." Taylor smiled as the two of them walked to the bathroom. Over the past three weeks with Thea, she'd been trying really hard to keep up with what sort of night time routine would be best, and her and Joe had finally found one that worked for all three of them.
When bedtime came, they'd turn off anything that made a sound, anything with bright lights... anything that wasn't peaceful. They would then give Thea a bath.

Taylor rocked her quietly as Joe got the water right. These moments were just so beautiful, so lovely. She just couldn't believe that they could even be this sweet.
"Ready," Joe said as they undressed Thea. They spoke in soft voices, cleaning her softly. Thea didn't seem to mind the bath, she just watched them closely. Taylor couldn't stop smiling, couldn't stop wondering how on earth she deserved this.
Joe would never, ever get tired of watching Taylor with Thea. There was a smile that she only gave to Thea, a smile that no one else in the world could get out of her. The way Taylor's voice went all high pitched, the way her eyes sparkled, the way she couldn't help but kiss her little cheeks.

After the bath, Taylor would get her a new onesie, diaper and pacifier for bedtime while Joe softly rubbed baby lotion on her. By this stage, Thea was getting sleepy. She didn't cry when she was taken out of the bath. Thea didn't cry very often, she was a very happy baby. Once she was changed, they'd give her the pacifier, and take her back to her bassinet, where they'd sing to her. Soft little tunes, songs that they'd only sing to her at night, because Taylor's Mom had told them how important a routine was, how important it was to help them learn the difference between day and night.
Most of the time, Taylor would end up singing Never Grow up, with Joe humming along beside her. It was such a pure moment in time, something that Taylor always wanted to keep in her memories forever.
Then, once Thea had gone to sleep, they'd take the baby monitor downstairs with them, while they had dinner.
"I will never get sick of doing that," Taylor said as she started to cook dinner. She smiled as she thought about it. "I love you."
Joe came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her, kissing her neck. "I love you too. You are the best mum that Thea could have."
Her initial thought was to deny it, to tell him that he was wrong, to give a list of reasons as to why he couldn't be right. But she didn't. "Just as you're the best dad." Taylor turned to face him. "She looks more and more like you every day."
Joe shook his head. "No way! She looks like you, I swear."
Taylor laughed. "Thank you for today. I had such a lovely time." She leaned in and kissing him, her arms cupping his cheeks. "I always think that the days I spend with you can't get better, and you always prove me wrong. Every god damn time," she shook her head with a smile. "I always think that I can't love you any more than I already do, but I always can." She kissed his cheek. "You're worth it too, Joe. Every part of you is all worth it too." She kissed his nose, and he smiled. "And I will be here every single day to remind you to be kind to yourself too, because you deserve that too. I'll be here to hold you when those thoughts get too much, when you don't think you can fight them. I'll be here to talk to when the world gets too much. I'll be here for it all. I'll be here for you, no matter what." Finally, she slowly kissed his lips, hoping he knew just how much she meant every single word she said. "I love you to the moon and to Saturn. To infinity and further."
Her words brought tears to Joe's eyes, as he wrapped his arms around her. He knew that he'd never go back to that place he had been before he'd met Taylor, he'd never go back there because she was keeping him in the daylight. He knew that even if the darkness found him, there'd be a hand holding him up, reminding him about the light. If the darkness swallowed him, he knew that Taylor would be there every single fucking step of the way back to daylight. She'd be there, reminding him of what the light felt like, reminding him of the way the sun dances across your cheeks, the way it feels on your eyelids as you stand face up towards the sky. She'd keep sunlight in her pockets, just so he would never have to live in that darkness again.