Vista - Attack on Titan x Reader

CHAPTER EIGHTY TWO: Strange

We need a devil...

The long silence following my question wasn't uncomfortable to me, and I waited patiently for his answer.
"In a way...y..yeah...I think he kinda was..." I admired his honesty. Heaving a sigh, I took one final look at the lifeless form of my father before turning, starting towards the door.
"Then I have a lot to live up to as the devil's daughter, huh..?"

On my way past, Jean reached out and took hold of my hand. He was gentle, not forcing me to stop. It was more like a request.
"You...are no devil, (Y/N)..." I was worrying him, and I should have felt bad about it, but it wasn't intentional. I was just speaking my thoughts.

I waited for him to release my hand, and blew a loose (H/C) strand from my face.
"I'm sure a lot of people disagree with you..." My eyes flittered over to Erwin for truly the last time, the tip of my tongue falling prey to my clenched teeth. "...I'm sure he saw it, too..."

I was in no rush to climb the wall once we left the building, but once we had reached the top, I lingered away from the others, knowing I wasn't prepared to see Armin yet. I just stared across the field, now painted a harsh, browning crimson. I could see Erwin's decimated stallion. I could see limbs and organs dappled like blooming poppies. A disgusting addition to our vile history.

Was it worth it, dad..?

Time escaped me as I stood there, lost in empty thoughts, until I heard the faint click of boots approaching me from the side. Turning, I came face to face with Connie, and nothing was said between us. He just opened his arms, and I stepped into them, accepting his warmth and support even though I wasn't sure if I needed it yet.

"We'll make this count. I swear." He sounded so determined, holding me close and minding my injuries. "You, me, all of us. We're gonna make this count." Settling against him, I closed my eyes, curling my fingers into the material of his jacket.
"Yeah..." It was all I could really say. I wanted to believe him, but I couldn't be sure. It was hard to even begin to imagine.

"Do...you want to be alone? We get it, if you do..." He asked softly, tucking my hair behind my ear when he pulled back. I did, but it wouldn't help me. Being left alone with my own thoughts would be beyond detrimental.
"Well, we'll probably be gathered up when the others get back, so I may as well stick with you guys. Gotta stand guard in case the shifters want a second round..."

I followed Connie back to where the others were resting, umable to maintain eye contact with Armin when he looked over to me.
"(Y/N)...I..I'm sorry, I-"
"Why are you sorry? None of this was your fault. How are you feeling?" I meant it. He hadn't chosen, Levi had. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't lay the blame on the lucky boy.

Meek and fidgety, he stared down into his lap, clutching the cloak he had been given as a blanket.
"S..strange...I feel...really strange..." I couldn't blame him. Having been on the brink of death, who wouldn't feel strange after suddenly healing back to one hundred percent?

I sat myself down between Armin and Sasha, who was completely comatose, giving him a light pat on the shoulder.
"Give it a while. I'm sure you'll feel normal again..." I felt strange about it too. He had eaten Bertholdt. Devoured him like he was an afternoon snack. Turning my attention to Sasha, I brushed strands of hair from beneath her bandages. "You too, sweet girl. You'll feel better, too..."

Jean, who was sitting not too far away, stretched his legs out in front of him, the cracks of his joints loud.
"She's going to be okay. She told us to shut up before." He explained, catching my eye. He didn't say anything more, but I could still hear his silent question. 'Are you sure you're going to be okay?'.

I rolled my good shoulder in a secret shrug, shifting to lay on my side, cuddling up against Sasha. I was exhausted, but there was no way I would he able to sleep. With Erwin so close, I wanted to go back to how I had been for the past few hours, but I knew it was best that I didn't. Nobody would be able to tear me away if I went back there.

"They've been gone for a while. Should we try to find them, or..?" Floch piped up in question, and I shook my head, closing my eyes and trying to ignore the lingering scent of blood.
"They'll be back eventually. Let them take however long they need. Honestly, I don't really want them back for a while..."

Just thinking about Levi is hurting...

In my opinion, Levi had made the wrong choice, and that wasn't going to change. I cared for Armin, but not as much as I had for Erwin. Even then, my thoughts on the matter weren't purely selfish. Under Erwin's leadership, we had made it this far. He was the ultimate commander. The ultimate devil. Armin wasn't like that.

Sasha rolled a little, nuzzling into the crook of my neck, and I swallowed my slight hiss as she rubbed against the bandaged slice in my neck. Draping my arm over her, I traced absent circles against her sleeve, tongue pushing hard at the backs of my teeth.

"Whenever they do get back, don't bother me. Just fill me in whenever I decide that it's time to wake up..."

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***I don't like this chapter.

Also I got acrylic nails again today after months and I forgot how hard it is to learn to type with them again ;-;

Next Time: We Could Be Heroes***