Always Kensington

IV

When we arrived back at the estate, I was in Roman's arms. He had called for my maids to bring a fur coat, being that he tore most of my night clothes off of me. I kept mumbling curse words at him for having done that, again, but like always those words didn't penetrate him. He is such a brat. The estate was roaring with footsteps going up and down the staircases and hallways. I knew this was a sign that Roman was on his way out. Fiona was by our side along with the rest of my maids. Their heads bowed, "Master Axel, we have readied the bath as requested."

"Very good Fiona," he nodded his head, his eyes still on me, that playful smirk still on his lips. "My love is a bit sore now."

"Shut your mouth," I poked his chest, noticing my maids were blushing at Roman's bluntness. "You're all dismissed," I ordered, waving my hand for them to move as quickly as possible. Roman rumbled with laughter, obviously enjoying how flustered the women became. "You're annoying," I mumbled, snuggling into his chest as he carried me to our bedroom. Roman gave me a gentle squeeze before placing me onto the bathroom counter. "How long will you be gone," I asked, hoping my disappointment wasn't apparent.

It was.

Roman took my chin and tilted my head back to get a better look at me, "What's with the long face, my love?"

"I don't like you leaving me."

He nodded his head, his eyes swimming with his own emotions as well. He knew how much it worried me to death when he left. He knew that I knew what he was up to, and while the details were foggy on my end, he always reassured me his plans with underworld crime was nothing for me to be worried about. And yet, here I am, still hidden from the world. "Do you miss your old life," he muttered, and the emotion that came full frontal in his eyes was regret. He was regretting the moment he asked that question, because he feared more than anything the answer he might get. He gave me a weak smile, his eyes now shining with overwhelming emotions. "You can tell me the truth...I won't argue with you for the way you feel."

"I miss long walks in museums, I miss midnight showings at movie theaters...I miss risking food poisoning at food trucks in London, I even miss high tea and walking Camden Market...I miss....I miss," I looked away from him, "picking up flowers in Covent Garden and watching street performers." I took in a deep breath, quickly wiping away the tears that escaped down my cheeks. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me like a baby and whispering sweet nothings to me. He told me how much my feelings mattered and that he was happy I didn't keep them bottled up anymore. "But that wasn't my old life," I mumbled, "That is my life I have with you, right now. The life we shared before...before the attack."

"Chloe I-"

"I don't want to bring that up again, I want to forget it," I whispered, clutching his shirt. "Take a bath with me...please."

He didn't answer at first. Dread, turmoil and frustration was eating away at him before he could finally answer, "Of course, of course my love."

"I didn't die. I'm here. That is all that matters, right?"

Yes, you didn't die Chloe.

He swallowed back the lump forming in his throat, "Mm," he hummed, rubbing against his now swollen red eyes. He cleared his throat and stripped me from my fur coat. His face stoic, trying so hard to hold back any emotion at bay. "I will never let what happened to her happen to you. What happened to her, it wasn't your fault. You understand that, my love."

I couldn't speak, that bubbly pit in my stomach and now found its way lodged in my throat. I nodded my head before burying my face into his neck. Roman picked me up and placed me into the warm bath before stripping down himself. He joined me, sitting behind me.