Second Chance

Chapter 8 Forgiveness or Relief from the Pain

Dev senses her anxiousness. He was sure something was bothering her. Then it suddenly struck him that it's him. His remorse sinks him deep. Since that night Dev wishes every day that he could somehow take those words back or turn back time to take that hurt from her. Nothing ever bothered him this much but her being hurt. In these past days, the guilt of hurting her has eaten him more than anything. Maybe more than the hurt Yashika has caused him. Mahi has become his centre more than Yashika ever was for him. For him, not a single day goes by that doesn't involve a fragment of her in his thoughts. 

After reaching home, both quietly resign to their respective rooms. With their own bothering thoughts, both just lie down on their beds with wide-open eyes. Thinking about each other, eventually, both drift into sleep. 

Mahi wakes up after an hour and sees the setting sun. She freshens up and picks up some files from the table as she finds her way to back gardens. Not to lose herself in thinking about Dev anymore, she attempts to focus on her work. She seemed almost successful at doing so but realises Dev's presence behind her. She becomes still keeping her eyes on the opened file in her laps.

Dev bends down and places the small piece of paper on the table in front of Mahi as he says,' I can't accept this.'

Mahi raises her eyes to look at the cheque she wrote to Dev in front of her. 

Dev doesn't wait for her to respond as he says,' I am aware that I have done something unspeakable and unforgivable. And every day I find myself looking for ways to apologise to you. Believe me.' He takes a pause and continues,' I am sorry but, I just can't accept this from you.'

Mahi doesn't move or turn her head on his words. But, she stays still. She intently listens to each of his words. She listens to his voice, drained out of energy. She feels his sincerity in his voice and in his words, even without looking directly at him. 

'I cannot justify what I did...what I said. It should never be. I won't be giving you any reason for it because it won't be fair to you. So I am okay as long as you want to hate me but, know this. I didn't mean a single word. I regret it every day and I always will,' says Dev keeping his pain inside. Not getting any response from Mahi, Dev turns away to go.

Mahi hears him moving away and says,' You know that I don't need that cheque to give that amount to you.'

Dev turns back to her and sees her not moving from her place. She was speaking to him but without facing him. He says,' you don't know my bank account details.'

'I have the means.'

'I'll ask my accountant to return the amount back to you,' replies Dev.

'It doesn't work that way. You don't have my account details,' say Mahi looking straight ahead.

'And you think I don't have means to find that out,' replies Dev.

Mahi inhales sharply and straightens up. She closes the file in her hand and puts it on the table. She gets up picking up the cheque and walks up to Dev. 

'You have to accept this,' says Mahi softly standing inches away from Dev.

'I can't. I...I just..,' Dev struggles to come up with words as he looks directly to Mahi. He thinks it was easy when she wasn't facing him like this.

Mahi sees him struggling and stops him by saying,' Listen to me. This cheque...is the only way I can keep my self-respect.'

She swallows her emotions and says,' You didn't just hurt me with your words but hurt my self-respect. And for a very long time, this is the only thing I have been living for.'

'I am terribly sorry. I didn't mean to. And I regret it from the moment those came out of my mouth,' says Dev with a little break in his voice.

'I know. I know,' says Mahi softly seeing him on the verge of breaking. She continues,' But, they are still there. You can't take them back.'