write to me

"I wish you were sitting in the chair opposite"

Korra,

I can't imagine how jarring it must've been to find out about everything that's going on. I'd be terrified. I'd feel like I woke up from a deep sleep only to find myself in a reality even worse than my nightmare. What was most surprising when I found out about my dad's Equalist workshop was that I didn't feel woozy. You'd think it would have been too much for me to take until it overloaded and spilled out to make a foggy haze but instead I felt like someone had just smacked me across the face. It was, well, shocking. I was painfully present and aware of absolutely everything. I couldn't get a moment's peace. I couldn't wind back down. I don't think I started to feel normal again until after my dad was put in prison. Things dampened after that. I guess leaving Republic City to go to the South Pole with the rest of the team removed myself from the situation and gave me something to direct my attention away to. By the time I came back I'd adjusted to life without him. I was happy to be working on something so important as the Air Nation, I was happy to be spending so much time with you. It was hard to be miserable with you around.

There must be some way to figure out what this vision really is, whether it's your mind playing some really sick tricks on you or, you know. Does she ever say anything? Can you voluntarily make contact with her, or does she always turn up on you?

I'd be lying, though, if I didn't say I was relieved to just hear from you.

Love,

Asami

Asami-

Honestly? I don't feel shocked at all and that makes this even harder. Like there was something deep inside me that already knew I wasn't ready to come back yet, and I fooled myself into thinking that I was. I feel stuck. I feel the same way I did when I first got here and that sucks because so much has changed and somehow I'm still not ready. It feels like all those years when I still couldn't Airbend no matter how hard I tried, but worse, because at least back then I didn't know what Airbending felt like so I couldn't miss it. I know what I'm missing now and, fuck, I miss it.

Maybe I just need to remove myself from the situation the same way you did. Maybe the reason I'm stuck is because I'm still here, not the other way around. But I still don't know where I should go if I leave. What do you think?

She never says anything, but I also never try to talk to her. She sneaks up on me and I do my best to push her away again because I don't want to be reminded of that version of me and I don't want to be reminded of that day. I don't know if I want to try to contact her because I don't want to see her at all but I'm beginning to think that might be the only way to solve this.

Love,

Korra

PS It was pretty difficult for me to be miserable around you, too. When we were searching for Airbenders, when you were here for the Glacier Spirits Festival, and when you were here last.

Korra,

There's a selfish part of me that wants to tell you to come back to Republic City and stay with me, but I think we both know that that's probably not the best way to go about this. Maybe you're not ready to come back to Republic City but that doesn't mean you're not ready to leave the South Pole. You still have the rest of the world. You can go to Kyoshi Island and train with the warriors there. You can go to one of the Air Temples to focus on reconnecting with yourself spiritually and finding out once and for all if this vision really is what we think it is. I would suggest Zaofu but given Kuvira's expanding empire and the rest of the kingdom being overrun with bandits, I think it would be best to avoid the Earth Kingdom altogether.

I miss you.

Love,

Asami