Are You In or Are You Out?

Part 5

AN: again not beta.  All mistake are my own.  Mostly thoughts and fluff happening in this chapter. X

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Chapter 5

Over the course of the next six weeks or so, the young girl that the Avengers had rescued from a disgusting cell in the bowels of a Hydra base tried twice more to take her own life.

The second attempt was after a struggle with Bruce and Bucky, there had been a shouting match; mostly from her. She had thrown Bruce across a room and then she somehow managed to take a Glock off The Winter Soldier and shoot herself through the throat. It would have been her head had Bucky not caught her arm quickly enough, he had move lightning fast to save her. He'd been covered in her blood, it sprayed over his face and in his hair. The animal that she feared so much had leapt out of her and again saved her life through healing itself, it's huge form almost as big as the hulk coming out of her. It had happened so fast, Bucky was left stunned, he stared at her small body afterward as she had laid unconscious on the floor. Bruce had wrapped her in blankets and sat with her once she woke up, listening to her cry and ramble and swear about the beast not letting her die and her constant guilt over hurting people.

The third attempt was when she threw herself off the compound roof in the middle of the night. Steve had been awake; he'd been outside sitting on the grass unable to sleep and thinking about her and trying to figure out how they could identify her when he had heard a noise above him. He stood up and saw her standing on the edge of the roof her back to the ground. He shouted to her, called out, but was too late and watched her fall. Frozen to the spot, once again encased in ice he was stunned by what he saw. About halfway down the building the beast had released itself changing her form, it twisted, and it casually landed on its feet after falling like a cat with a light thud. It shook its head, snaked its long thin tongue out to lick drool of it's face and growled lightly. When it spotted him it nodded at him, in recognition or what he wasn't sure and then changed back into the girl. She had screamed in frustration, flipped him the bird and stalked back to her room.

The next six months went by without another attempt and she seemed to settle into a routine at the compound. She would wander around the building most days, she would eat on her own or with Bruce or Steve in the round-room with her. She liked to read. Bruce had hundreds of books for her to borrow. She spent lots of time staring out at the ocean. Steve had offered in his gentle way to show her the beech, but she didn't want to go outside. She didn't really go outside, she didn't want to be near anyone, even by accident.

She wouldn't really have anything to do with anyone else, her senses made sure that she knew who was around anyway, she could smell and hear them all so well. Steve, Bruce, Nat and Bucky were the only ones at the compound full time anyway, but still, she didn't like Tony who came and went most days, Thor had gone back to Asgard the day after she arrived and Clint was with his family for the most part. Nat gave her clothes and tried to talk to her here and there, but the girl didn't really respond much, so she left her too it saying that she was there if she needed her.

Bruce touched her, she didn't mind, he was kind and his eyes said nothing but sweetness. She saw it when he looked at Natasha and wondered if they were a couple. Bruce had sat with her and gone through some files from the Hydra facility, she hadn't recognised any pictures of the people who were apparently also kept there, none of the profiles fit her either. She did however recognise four guards. She had backed away from the computer screen knocking over her chair when she spotted the first one, got angry, cried and scraped her skin with her nails until Bruce had talked her down. She'd had flashbacks ever since, coming and going in her sleep as well as when she was awake sometimes. A sudden sound bringing it crashing back to her what they had done, how they had held her down and violated her in the most brutal way. She had known, remembered or just knew, that she had been a virgin, that they took everything from her, and she was shocked by the pure evil hatred that she felt towards those men. Her only comfort was that she knew they were dead, she'd killed them. It was safe to say that she didn't really slept much. She never felt tired anyway and she couldn't remember every feeling tired at all.