brothers.

22~ First Session

Not ridiculous. Traitorous.

~~~

September 27th, 2023

My knees bounced as I waited outside the school psychologist's office, my backpack between my knees. I wasn't meeting with the school psychologist, though; he was lending my therapist his office for this single period.

I'd gone through a few therapists... a couple were really sweet, a couple others were... okay. Most of the time, my foster family wouldn't bother to send me to therapy, so I would just have my meds.

One thing I learned was to not reveal everything all at once. My history was enough. If they reported anything too serious, it would risk me getting moved again, and right now, I wasn't 100% sure if I wanted to leave.

A woman walked down the hall carrying books and a small Bluetooth radio. "Miss Watson?"

I stood, nodding. "That's me."

"I'm Dr. Cawman." She smiled, shaking my hand. "I'm sorry I didn't get to come see you before."

"It's all good," I said.

She opened the office. "Come in, please."

Inside, a desk was against the far wall, with two comfy-looking chairs sitting in front. Large bookshelves lined the side walls. A dim, blue lamp sat on the desk, the lampshade reading, 'Nice talking to you'! The school psychologist's diploma was hung on the right wall.

Dr. Cawman put her things on the desk, moving the psychologist's name plaque aside, which read: 'Shane Arbyman, Ed.S'. "Your social workers updated me on how you've been doing with the Field family," she began, both of us sitting down. "This is your..." She opened a folder. "23rd placement, right?"

"Yeah."

She scrolled on her phone and turned on the radio. "Would you like some music? I usually put on classical. Calms the mood."

"Yeah, sure."

She played a Beethoven song and put down her phone. The melody tickled my ears, instantly relaxing me. I always loved classical music.

"How about you tell me your impression of the family?"

"Okay. Um... well... they were nice. Very nice to me," I began. "From the beginning, Susan and Davis were sweet. They gave me a room and clothes and stuff. I almost never get that kind of treatment, so I was happy, y'know?" I looked down at my lap. "But Susan told me their sons weren't that happy with fostering, so I expected them to be rude— and surprise, surprise, they were."

I told her basically the entire story; being a maid for the first month or so, deciding to go to school, the 'look' everyone gave me. Sometimes she would take notes, and sometimes she would just nod or frown, reacting to everything I said.

I was sure not to mention anything too serious, like the habits I'd resumed, or the... thoughts that sometimes occurred to me. There was enough of that in my file, for sure.

Once I got to the whole thing about me and Amy, her expressions were more animated, but calm. She must've been told the story, but hearing the full story was obviously different.

I concluded with how our relationship was the past couple weeks; distant and quiet. Harry and I had grown a bit closer, but he was pretty into himself now that his brothers weren't talking to him. Even on the bus, Tommy wouldn't say a word to him.

I also mentioned how everyone treated me so far, which was pretty much the same. I even mentioned Ivy, whom I'd realized was in both my AP Literature class and my Computer Science class, to my absolute delight.

She had been basically hiding from me in class, successfully avoiding my attention. But recently, she started to make her presence known with backhanded comments in class and writing insults in the margins of my notebooks— how she did that, I had no idea.

Dr. Cawman smiled. "A lot has happened the past two months, huh?"

"Oh, yeah," I sighed.

"So you're considering online school?"

"Mm-hmm. But I'm not sure yet. I have a Cooking class I can't take online, and I want to try out for track. And I guess I did make some friends. I think people started talking bad about them because of me, and... I hate the thought of that." I rubbed my nape.

"Well, if they're sticking with you, taking all of it for you, it means that you're so precious to them that they'd never give you up as a friend. Obviously, you're easy to like."

I blushed, flattered. "Thanks."

The bell rang, ending the school day. "I lost track of time," Dr. Cawman chuckled. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Diana, and talking to you." She stood, gathering her things.

As we exited, she turned to me. "Some advice— while you have all these friends, make sure to spend time with them. Friends that loyal are a treasure. And..." She opened the door. "Try to talk to your foster family. The best way to overcome what happened is if you communicate with them. If you're living with them, the most you can do is try to connect with them."

I took a moment to mull over her words. "I'll try. Thank you, Dr. Cawman."

"I'll see you next Wednesday, Diana."

Thoughts on Ivy? Diana's friends? Dr. Cawman?