rose and sage || dreamnoblade oneshots (dream x technoblade)

7; drunk dreams (real)

heya yall really wanted the horny drunk dream so here you go

this oneshot is {kinda} inspired by m o n s t e r h u n t my other book which is famous because im famous and i am very pog and i am the best and you should bend over for me

(hey @toadli, do you see, I am SO famous, I could give you SO much clout, so you should leave that rogue spider chick for me <3)

also monster hunt is at 80K READSSSSSS and that is very pog so yeah <3

Prompt: Techno finds a drunk and pretty horny Dream in his living room, next to a bottle of alcohol (and they are roomates, not dating :D) 

~

Techno sighed, closing the stream and shutting off his computer. He buried his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes to try to keep him awake. 

He had just finished a whole three hour stream, playing Minecraft with some Dream SMP members which included Quackity, Sam, Karl, Sapnap, George, Wilbur, Tommy, Eret and the man and the myth, Dream, who was also his roomate.

Dream had recently flown to California because of private matters, so Techno offered a room to let him stay in temporarily. 

Two hours into the stream, however, Dream said something came up and he had to go. Techno found this suspicious, since he didn't notice him leaving the apartment or anything. 

"Dream?" he called, stretching his arms and standing up. He yawned and opened the door to outside. "Dream? You okay? Hello?"

He knocked the door of his roomate. "Dream, you there?" 

Maybe he's asleep, he thought. I should probably go to bed too.

Just as he was about to return to his bedroom, he heard a strained wheeze from the living room. He frowned and walked to the direction of the sound, to find the blonde standing on the carpet, holding up a rubber ball above Techno's dog, Floof.

He wheezed at Floof's futile attempts to reach for the ball, no dog could just jump six foot up in the air. 

"Dream?" Techno laughed. "What are you doing?" 

Dream turned his attention to him and gasped, as if he was surprised to see him. "Techno! Technooooo... hi!" he giggled.

"Uh, you okay?"

"Yeah! Yeah, are you okay?"

Techno blinked. "Well, no actually. I mean, like you're all drunk and shit, what happened?"

"I don't know..." Dream trailed off and stared at something in the floor. Techno frowned and looked around. His question was answered when he found an open bottle of alcohol on the table near the couch. Glancing inside, he noticed half of it was gone. 

"Woah," he muttered. "He's drunk all right."

"Hey, I haven't seen you before, who are you?"

Techno turned to the blonde. "What?" he decided to play along. "I'm Techno. Technoblade. Well that's my online name but-"

"Can I tell you a secret?"

Techno nodded and came closer.

Dream let out a small giggle before whispering in his ear, "You're... kinda cute, Technoblade..."

Techno blushed. "Uh, thanks?"

"I'm Dream, hi..."

What- Techno shook his head. "Nice to meet you Dream."

"Wanna... wanna play twisterrrrr?" Dream grinned, his eyes half-lidded.

Techno frowned. "Twister? Don't you need like-"

Suddenly, Dream picks up Technoblade and yeets him into the ceiling, the blood god screeching as he spirals into the unknown.

(I'm kidding lmao)

Suddenly, Dream lost footing, tripping over the carpet and attempting to break his fall by putting his hands up against the wall. Unfortunately for Techno, he was standing right there, causing him to be basically pinned against the cement. 

"Uh-" Techno went red. "You.. good?"

"I think I changed my mind..." Dream gazed at him, making small circular motions at his wrists. "What about... wrestling?"

"Wrestling? What are you, five?" 

"Five..." Dream trails off, before turning his attention to the bottle of wine. "Five sips. Try five sips." he hands the bottle to him. 

Techno was reluctant, but thought it would be fun to entertain his tipsy friend. "Alright," Techno raised the mouth of the bottle to his lips, before taking a large gulp, winking at the blonde. Dream smirked.

"More," he commanded.

Techno obliged.

"Moreee..."

Before he knew it, he had swallowed half of the rest of the contents in the bottle, wincing as he placed it back on the table. He definitely felt the effects kicking in, and there was a spicy tingle in his throat.

"Happy?" he choked.

"Hm," Dream hummed in response. "Come... sit here," he motioned for him to follow. Techno walked behind him and sat beside him on the couch. 

"Have you ever read Heatwaves?" Dream asks drowsily.

Techno frowned, trying to clear his mind. According to his memory, he did, though he was definitely feeling dizzier by the seconds. He decided to have fun with it. "Yeah, I did. You need to be kissed so hard you forget your name, right?"

Dream smiled. "What's stopping you?"

What? Techno couldn't think. It was like his brain just switched off. What did he sayyyyyy?

Suddenly, colorful images of the Teletubbies dancing filled his head. What the- Techno blinked hard. Was this what it was like being drunk? Then the images were replaced by dark silhouettes, one of them pinning someone of the same height against the wall, the other smirking. 

Then, a loud sound blared in the living room. Dream's phone. "Aiaiaiai I'm your little butterfly! AAIIAIAIAIAI-"

Dream picked up the phone. "I can't talk right now, I'm doing hot girl shit." He hung up.

(sorry im very tired and this is slowly turning into a crackfic anyway-)

"Who was that?" Techno laughed.

"Tommy."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing, I hung up, didn't you see?"

"I saw, but did he say anything?" 

"Something about discs. When did he like CDs?"

"Bitch, I don't know."

(I'm so sorry I'll be serious now)

"So... what's stopping you?" Dream whispered. "Too chicken?"

Techno scoffed. "Meee?"

They kissed, the end.

~

Ok I'm really sorry but I'm like really tired and sad and I have lost motivation for a lot of things so I may or may not continue this in a part 2, maybe I'll take a break, I don't know, hope you guys can understand :)

ok see u

-dainty <3