i'm going to change

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i've been here before
behind the closed curtains and doors
the happiness is over
my habits returning

i will read
be thankful for the things i need
i will push away the urges
for this way of life
i'm allergic

it was before October
the last time i laughed sober
before i let you in closer
so today i'm changing
because i don't want this to be over

i can change from now
because all that i see
is when i'm at my best with him
is when i'm most happy

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