some kind of madness is swallowing me whole

part 9

The next day in school was awkward for Bella. She wanted to talk to Edward about what happened the night before but she knew his cryptic ways wouldn't give her a straight answer. She could talk to Jessica or Angela about it but she knew if she did her feelings would ring through their thoughts and Edward would know about it anyway. For fear of him knowing, she kept it all to herself the whole day.

At lunch, everyone was talking about the homecoming dance. This past weekend was big on asking people to go with each other.

"I can't wait," Jessica said.

"We were thinking about renting a limo, what do you think Bella?" Eric asked.

"I think that's a little bit formal for a homecoming dance," Bella answered. She had to admit her knowledge about homecoming festivities only came from what she could Google. A few of her searches included any information about renting a limousine.

"Yeah, you guys that's not cool," Mike said, agreeing with Bella with clear disappointment on his face.

"What Bella says goes," Jessica said angrily.

"I mean you don't have to do it just because I said so, but it feels really formal for a homecoming dance."

"No, Bella you're right," Angela chimed in. Jessica rolled her eyes.

After lunch, it was harder to ignore the thing that happened the night before. With Edward sitting right next to her, Bella found it difficult to focus on anything other than him kissing her.

It wasn't even a kiss. Now I've managed to think about it so much I've made it into more than it was. It couldn't have been more than a courteous goodbye peck on the cheek. I can't let it be more than that. If I let it be more than that and it isn't more than that, I look like a fool. I can't look like a fool in front of Edward. I can't let him see my guard down. It wasn't anything but a goodbye peck. That is all.

She finished her thought as Edward walked into the room.

Although, if I think it was a kiss and he thinks it was a kiss, what could that harm? We would have a mutual agreement for that moment and no one would be a fool. If he thinks that I think that he thought that it was a kiss we wouldn't have an issue. Who am I kidding? I don't even know what I'm saying. It was a peck. Don't overthink this.

"So, you're against renting limousines now?" Edward asked.

"I wouldn't say against. I don't have much knowledge on homecomings, I didn't attend high school a million times, but everything I have gathered didn't mention any limos."

"You're still going to the dance with him?"

"Yes, Edward. Why would I take it back?"

"I was hoping our connection might have changed your mind," Edward said. Was he talking about the peck or our genuine connection? I wish he was easier to read.

"I don't think I had enough time, between last night and today at school, to ponder our connection to be able to decline Mike for homecoming."

"Homecoming isn't for another two weeks so I think I have time to convince you otherwise."

"Why are you so against me going with him to a silly dance?"

"Bella, honestly I'm surprised you don't see it yourself. He is such a marshmallow."

"Edward be nice. You don't know anything about him," Bella said almost loud enough for the class to hear.

"And he knows nothing about you. You are playing a dangerous game here. He could develop real feelings for you and then where would you be? You would have to tell him why that would be impossible. Then you would have to kill him for knowing too much about vampires."