Diana, just your average philly chick. when she's not checking her astrology and slimming down in the gym, she's teaching her kindergarten class. Her daily life isn't extraordinary, but what happens when she holds her first annual parent teacher con...
"Hey, calm down and join the rest of your classmates. I love you." He gave her a kiss on the forehead before nudging her over to her friends.
"Yeah, she spilled cereal all over her shirt, had to have a whole other bath and outfit change, and I don't know how to do her hair so I just put it up in a puff, I don't know."
"Oh no." I held in my laugh, I truly felt sorry for the girl.
"Thank you for accepting my friend request, by the way. I didn't want to act you for your number, honestly I was kinda shy, but since I'm gonna have DeNali full time I wanted to make sure I was cool with her teacher and make sure she was on top of her studies. You have children right?"
I cleared my throat. "Um, no I don't but I get it."
"Oh my bad, I didn't know."
"No you're fine! I'm too busy with these babies to have my own right now. But I mean you can have my personal number I know that tryna reach the number the school gave me is hard because that's not including after school hours so-"
"Ms. Jones! Alyssa is gluing her hands and peeling them again!"
He let out a low chuckle. "I see you're busy, but I'll message you."
"Okay that's fine. Have a great day, Mr. Birthwaite."
"You too, Ms. Jones and please, call me Tyrell."
*****
"Ahhh bitch! 'Please call me Tyrell.'" She imitated him in an anything but deep voice.
"Yeah yeah yeah, pass me a packet of dressing and shut it."
It's lunch time for our kids so Semére and I decided to sneak off to the teacher's lounge for 30 minutes of whisper conversation. Because, ya know, these White people be minding everything but your business.
"ooo bitch you shouldn't have told me this. I can see it now, I just know he carry an AK-47 in them jogging pants he be strutting in here with every single morning. You gon get fucked up I'm telling you! And then imma be like, 'that's my dawg! Yeah yeah!"
"Semére shh! Must you always talk about sex?"
"Yes. I am comfortable with my sexuality and I want you to be to. You're too fine to be innocent. Innocent looking people are supposed to look cute, not fine."
"Let me give you a new topic, how's your class going, hm?"
"Bad as hell. Apparently Stephanie and Camille got some beef because Camille got slime on Stephanie's subtraction homework during turn it in period, I don't even allow slime in my classroom! So now Stephane is mad and calls her JoJo Siwa by the head because that poor white girl hairline receding because of that tight ass ponytail she sporting for her brand. It's too much!" She sips her water in the key of stressed.
"Oh no I actually had both of them while I was a teacher's aide here, they were best friends."
"And they're gonna be best friends next week. You know kids wishy washy. I caught Johnathan trying to kiss Maya by the swings!"
"Maya Trevant or Maya Jonson?"
"Trevant!"
"Oh dear Lord!"
"Mhm! I mean she is a pretty girl but no! I don't want ya kissing until you got an income of $50,000 a year at least!"
"Right!" we clicked out berry lemonades together when I suddenly get a notification from my phone.
"Is it him?" She nearly killed herself looking over the table.
"Yes. I just send him my number."
"AYE. THATTA GIRL!" She squealed.
"Girl please shh! It's only for professional business only."
"And what is that? Getting ya doonies beat down? Look ever since ya ex man you've been tight, let goooo!"
"Psh please! He is reaching out for daughter's progress in my class."
"Bitch y'all learn shapes, alphabets, and colors! Now if it was 3rd-8th I'd understand because them white teachers got them learning some high school prep shit. But if he checking up for something I learned on Sesame Street, he want a lil mo!"
"Girl I can't stand you." I rolled my eyes. "Besides, I hate rushing things. I felt rushed in my last relationship and you know what he did? Cheat. I want to breathe now."
"But Di it's been four years. My baby sister Kimberly is 20 and engaged after going through her boy crazy phase in high school. She settled down after being single for a year and she's happy with her boo of 3 years."
"Eh, different strokes for different folks."
The day dragged on, the kids had recess, then they had Black History program practice. I necessarily didn't have to be in the auditorium with them because they picked out their materials, so Semére took them off my hands for the last 45 minutes of the day so I can finish up my lesson plan for the month. Suddenly, my phone lights up, a text from Mr. Birthwaite.
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Shit! And before y'all ask yes I got that picture from his Facebook page. I have a picture for everyone on my phone. Even Semére's crazy ass.
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"Ms. Jones, you have a package waiting for you at the office." The office secretary called on the intercom.
That's suspicious, that's weird.
I pace myself to the office because I know I didn't order anything, unless Semére used my Amazon account again. I get there and it's a beautiful arrangement of red roses with no card attached. It probably fell off. It was beautiful and huge, and I know I have no space for it in my classroom. I have to take it home with me.
