Tired / Panic

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I'm tired of the short breaths
And the shaking.
Of the unrational thinking and
Lies my brain hands to me
On a silver platter.
It's a three course meal and
I take the bait.
I take it and swallow it whole.
I dissociate,
Comatose from all that is around me,
My world comes to a complete stop. Seconds turn to minutes.
Minutes turn to hours
Staring at a blank wall,
hoping to find some sort of comfort
I can't seem to recieve from this
Madness.
I don't want to be a bother.
I don't want to be desperate.
My heart is a hammer
Slamming against my ribs.
I want to escape, too.
But it's not that easy.
You can't just walk away from it.
It will follow you.
It will chase after you and
Devour you again.
And again.
And again.

I'm tired.

~Bleeding Hart ❣️~

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