Epiphany

Reach for the sky

(Short story 1)

I closed my eyes, my heart beat quickening with every breath I took. The plane doors began to open, and I backed against the wall, hyperventilating.

"I can't do this, I can't do this!" I screamed, tears running down my cheeks. 

My guide, a muscular tough looking woman, rolled her eyes. "Take ten minutes to calm down. If you're not ready by then we're landing." She said icily, and I took off to the back of the plane before sinking into one of the chairs and letting out a sob. 

Why had I ever agreed to this? What stupid person agrees to go skydiving when they're afraid of heights?

I knew the answer, and guilt bubbled up inside of me as I replayed last weeks conversation with my little brother. I had pushed through the door into his hospital room, the cowardly side of me hoping that he'd be asleep and I wouldn't have to go through with this sudden crazy idea I had. 

But Nico was awake. I watched from the doorway with a glow of love as his brown, fawn like eyes gleamed with excitement in the artificial lighting, making sound effects when his toy trucks rammed into one another. 

I almost went home, not wanting to disturb him, but stopped myself as I realized I was just trying to get out of the thing I needed to do. So with a breath of courage I walked into the room. 

"Sissy!" Nico cried, a two front teeth missing smile spreading across his face that brightened up the whole room. "How's my little bro?" I'd said, sitting on the bed next to him and trying not to wince at the squeakiness. 

Nico's grin widened if possible. "I'm doing amazing! Nurse Gianna told me about this skydiving event in Jamaica next week the hospital's having to raise money for the fee for my and some other patients next cancer tests, and the best part was that if all goes well with the test I'll be going to remission!" 

My heart soared. I'd thought Mom was hiding something at dinner tonight, with that sly smile of hers on her cheeks, and I'd been right. I guess she just wanted me to find out for myself when I went to go visit Nico. 

"Nico that's incredible! Then you can come home!" I felt tears slide down my cheeks as I realized that Nico would be able to live the normal life of a kid, and I'd never have to see him so lifeless and exhausted after a test again. 

Then the reality of what I was about to do set in. Skydiving was Nico's dream and my nightmare; I'm deathly afraid of heights and you couldn't force me on an airplane if you tried. But as I looked at Nico, his jet black hair a ruffled mess, I felt a surge of determination. 

"Nico," I said. "I'm going to do the event." Nico's eyes stretched in shock. "But-" I silenced him. "I know," I whispered. "But I'm going to do it for you." 

The angelic smile on his face had been enough to get me on a plane to Jamaica, (I'd clutched the seat until my knuckles turned white and threw up with every dip) but now that I was facing the challenge I was chickening out. 

Now as I sat in the back of the plane, breaking out in cold sweat and crying, I felt a tap on my back. "Hello?" A tiny voice said. 

I turned to see a small girl, about eight, sitting beside me. "It's okay to be scared," she said, her pigtails bouncing side to side. I felt a stab of annoyance. This girl was a fine one to talk; her parents were probably flying outside while she sat safe in the cabin. 

I ignored her and began to get up and tell the captain to land when she spoke again. "I'm flying after you." I turned toward her and she looked at me with wide, innocent blue eyes. 

"You're flying?" I asked, a little suspiciously. The girl nodded. "I was scared to; but then I thought of all that people with cancer has to go through, and thought that this would be easy compared to it." 

 I wiped my eyes and asked her her name. "I'm Tina," she said. I stood up and my fear returned as the plane lurched.  "Well Tina, this is probably about to annoy you real bad, but I'm about to tell the pilot to drop me off and then you can go. I just can't do this." 

As I began to walk down the aisle I felt Tina grab my hand. Just as I was about to snap at her to get away I felt her press something cold and smooth in my hand. "Read this," She said. 

I stopped and turned over the tiny plaque she'd handed me. It read:

"Fears are nothing more than a state of mind," 

-Napoleon Hill

I stared at her. "Why are you giving me this?" I asked. Tina smiled. "I read this whenever I get scared. My grandma gave it to me, but you can keep it. You need it more than I do." Then with a cheerful wave she disappeared into the back of the plane again, happily kicking her legs as she waited. 

I read the plaque again and something clicked in me.

 I looked back at Tina as she idly looked around the plane without fear, and I mused on the fact that this random little girl,  who would probably forget me tomorrow, was kind enough to give me this plaque and encourage me. 

This complete stranger, a little kid as it was, had enough courage to help people. And knowing that, I felt brave enough to do it to. 

I marched over to my instructor and said I changed my mind. 

As the doors opened I closed my eyes, clutched the plaque, summoned Tina and Nico's courage, and jumped.