Picture Perfect

Chapter 32

Alessia POV

It was the next morning. I ended up skipping the movie and went to bed, telling Kayla I wasn't feeling well. When we woke up the yard was still white and full of snow. The street had been plowed at some point.

"Thank you so much for the hospitality, Mrs. Jane," Parker smiled at my mom as he headed towards the door.

My mom rolled her eyes at him before returning a smile. "Of course, Parker. You are welcome here anytime." She waved at him as he walked out the door.

"I'll call you later, Sia," Kayla hugged me as I stood in the hallway. "Bye, Jane." I watched her follow Parker out the door. My mom waved before heading past me into her office.

I made my way up the stairs to return to my room. When I made it to the top I was met by Jonathan. He had just come through the guest room door, his backpack sling across his left shoulder. His hair was frizzier than it was last night with his curls less defined.

"Sorry," I moved past him, making room for him to get to the stairs. "I thought you already left."

"You're good," he nodded. "Alessia?"

"Yeah?" I turned back to him.

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "I know I've said it a million times, but you were right last night. I wasn't being very considerate of your feelings."

"Jon-"

"Please, let me finish. I thought that if I told you my side everything would be fine. I'd make it up to you. But as you said it's not fair on you. So I'm sorry."

"I know you are." I nodded at him.

"I'm not gonna take back what I said last night, though. I love you, Alessia. I can't pretend like I don't." Hearing Jonathan say it again, my stomach began to fill with stupid butterflies, but they were matched with an overwhelming cloud of exhaustion. My knees felt like they were gonna buckle at any second. "I hope you feel the same or at least close to it. That picture in there," he pointed to my room, "gives me some hope though."

"Whether you hate me or not," he continued. I wanted to scream at him that I didn't. I wanted to take back the way I talked to him yesterday. But I couldn't. I stayed frozen. "I'm gonna give you space. I should have given it to you in the first place, but I didn't. I'm sorry." Jonathan looked at me for a moment. I could see in his eyes he didn't want to leave, but he still did. A second later he was down the stairs and out the door.

I continued to stare at the place he stood moments before. Feeling tears begin to stream down my face, I backed up against the wall. Sinking down, I moved my hands to my chest and let out a gasp as I continued to cry. The tears came heavier as I sat there on the floor. Every single emotion I had kept bottled these past few weeks came crashing down all at once. I didn't know how to handle it. My chest ached, my head began to throb as it laid against the wall. My stomach turned and my skin felt like it was covered in pins and needles. Thoughts swarmed inside my head. Thoughts of Jonathan, my parents, Damien, Cat. Everything bad I wanted to avoid began to attack me without warning. I wanted to scream but my voice felt swallowed up inside me.

"Alessia?" I heard my mom gasp followed by footsteps running up the stairs. I felt her crouch beside me, but I kept my eyes closed. "Baby, what's wrong?" Her voice was filled with concern. I opened my mouth to respond but all that came out was a loud wail.

"Shhh," my mom wrapped her arms around me as I balled into her chest. "I'm right here. I'm here now."

"I can't-" I managed to get out before gasping for air.

"Just breathe. You don't have to say anything if you aren't ready to." So I did. I focused on breathing, but all I could handle was one deep breath followed by short bursts in between sobs. My muscles continued to tense, only allowing shallow breaths. My mom held me. She rubbed my back and whispered her reassurances into my hair.