This all started with that phone call, no, no it was further than that. It was back when I was a naive kid, thinking that a gun was the best way of protecting what was closest to me, never thinking that someone may have the same idea, holding something more valuable in their hearts as they pull the trigger on me. I probably should have learnt my lesson from the one on one concentration I had with that one man, he held his families futures in his heart, spoke of only love, breathed in any wish that was spoken to him in the desperation for freedom. A flare of hope that was chocked as I wrapped my hands round his neck.
I had no choice. I spoke to him not so long ago too. He told me about his 6 year old daughter whom he was teaching to read and write. He told me about how he had to run with her and his wife from his burring home. His daughter, scarred for life as she watched her home fall apart in the distance as hell fire fell from the heavens and claimed her arm in exchange. He spoke of equivalent exchange and how the sins of his land justified his family’s loss. But nothing is equivalent in exchange for a young girl’s dream of being a dancer.
I couldn’t stop. Now that I have the power to protect what I love I can’t let it slip, I’m scared that if I let it go then my wife will be in danger. And that leads me to the phone.
She picked it up, flustered by the demands told to her through war hardened tongues and numb hearts. Without a word from her mouth she was told that I had to go fight for someone’s ideologies. Rain ash and led in rivers of blood for a lame course. Money and stature are one in the same and when one party challenges another, they call on the ones to protect what needs protecting.
“You can’t go” she cried into my arms, my shirt becoming damp from the salted tears that she bled. “You’ll die if you go”
“I won’t die” I replied with a genuine smile, peace stretched over my content lips.
“You may, when you dance with the devil”
“Then let us dance slowly”
“And what about your mind?!” she cried “what about the man? You still can’t sleep without waking with tears in your eyes”
“Would you say that what I’m doing is right?” I asked her holding her close to my chest, our hearts beating at the same paste, breathing to the rhythm of our words.
“You’re protecting what you believe in, so it is just”
“They if I die I’ll be cast into heaven” I replied with a relaxed smile on my face hiding the tenting on my back. “If I die and you get into trouble, I will tear off my wings and cast my halo to save you, I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back”
“Then what will happen?”
“The devil can teach me to slow dance” I chuckled
Later that night as she slept at my side, I slid out and stood next to the gaping window for all to see what’s inside. My skin reacted to the cold, but my bones did not, as my eyes watered and warmth toughed my shoulder.
