ad astra per aspera - {♕ f.w.}

5. An Unwelcome Visitor on the Hogwarts Express

London had long disappeared outside. Buildings and muggle streets were now endless marshes and fields drowning in the increasing rainfall. The conversation had changed course completely; What moments earlier had been Fred dramatically detailing an Egyptian tomb where all the skeletons had extra heads, had turned into a conversation about Sirius Black.

The twins were repeating everything you had told them about Sirius Black to Lee. With nothing to add, you found your mind wandering, lingering on the man asleep just down the train. There was a feeling, a sort of bitter resentment. You were burdened with his presence while he slept, blissfully unaware you had come and gone from his compartment. The joy the journey on the Hogwarts Express always brought was gone.

Droplets of rain raced down the window, and you found it easier to focus on the swirling patterns they left in the condensation than the conversation at hand. The Azkaban convict was trying to push Professor R.J. Lupin from your mind, fighting for a dominant thought, but he kept slipping into your brain, more present than he had been for twelve years.

However, you managed to stay as inconspicuous as possible. You laughed at things meant to be laughed at and corrected the boys when they detailed something wrong. False engagement, proof you weren't off in your own world, before falling silent again.

George sighed as he fiddled with a box of Bertie Botts. "They're probably gonna cancel all the Hogsmeade visits. I mean, mum almost didn't sign Ron's form over the summer. Reckon she expects Black to be hiding out in the village or something."

"We can just sneak out of the castle." Fred said. "I've waited all summer to go to Honeydukes."

Another cue for you to enter the conversation; the need for a level headed voice of reason.

"Another brilliantly crafted plan, Freddie." You sighed sarcastically, turning away from the window to look at him. "Sneaking out of the castle with a mass murderer on the loose. What could possibly go wrong?"

"But if we all go together -" The boy started.

"Don't be stupid." You cut him off, already knowing what he was going to suggest. You adjusted in your seat to face them better, suddenly feeling like you could be a bit more present in the conversation. "He murdered a whole bunch of people in the middle of a crowded street, do you really think he's not going to attack us just because we're walking around in groups?"

"Reckon we'd be okay going with you though, Y/N." Lee said casually. "He's not gonna kill a Dolohov." 

"Not really keen on taking that chance though, am I?" You shot back.

It fell silent. Awkward. Uncomfortable. You wished you hadn't turned away from the window.

There were very few lines to be crossed when it came to you, yet Lee Jordan managed to find the largest one and mindlessly step over it. He had meant no harm, you knew that much, but the mention of your relation to the Dolohov family set you off at whoever brought it up.

Staring back out the window to ignore the boys' gazes, you realized that avoiding any mention of the wizarding world's evilest wizards was starting to seem impossible. Sirius Black was the wizarding world's most prominent issue. People were going to talk about it. They were going to theorize about his escape and cast doubt on the innocence of anyone with a connection to him.

Maybe the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher could vouch for you.

Before Lee could apologize or try to lighten the mood, there was a considerable decrease in the train's speed. It jolted, as if someone's hand had cramped around the brake by accident, which moved the four of you uncomfortably around in your seats. The train was slowing to a stop.