Role reversal

Chapter 1

I arrived home at around 6:30 on a Friday.  I had to stay an hour late at work which i was none to pleased about, and brought my work home which I almost never do. We were nearing the end of this fiscal year and working on a big project which could finally get us the on the right path to finally have our breakthrough we have been working years towards, so sacrifices had to be made. I noticed Tori's car in the driveway, but given that it was Christmas break for her at school, I had hoped that she was out with friends.
I walked over to the cupboard, grabbed a wine glass from the top shelf with ease, a bottle of wine, and made my way to my favorite armchair in the living room. I pulled up the footrest and tried to get as comfortable as I could in my pencil skirt. I had before me my work iPad and a bunch of printed out documents. Before diving into work, I downed a glass to help relieve some stress. Any maybe another glass. I typically try to go to a bar after work on a Friday to try unwinding a little, and maybe finally meet someone. I started day dreaming while sipping on my wine realized that about 20 minutes had passed and I had accomplished zero work and was much drunker than I intended to be. Since I was in no condition to work, I turned on some music and started dancing, slowly raising the volume as I got more into it. The alcohol was still kicking in as I was dancing, and I went for a spin and ended up falling down. Not sure why I thought doing that in my 4 inch heels with limited movement was a good idea, but I can laugh at myself which is exactly I did. Tori came out of her room, and I was admittedly disappointed to see her home at 7 P.M. on a Friday during Christmas Break.
"Tori, what are you doing here?!" I blurted out. I admit, I should have said hello, or how are you, or pretty much anything else, but I just want Tori to enjoy her youth while she can. Go out, be reckless before responsibilities set really set it. I always felt like she was wasting her high school career by staying at home every night. In fact, I can't think of a day where Victoria ever went a party or to a friends house or anything after school.
"What do you mean? I I live here." She snapped back at me as she's made her way to the living room. I saw her with her wand in her hand. I appreciate that she is a good kid. Very studious, well-behaved, polite. I just wish she was more social. "Oh, you're drunk again. Why aren't I surprised?"
"Hey!" I shouted at her while shakily getting up. "I'm just..." I had to pause, I think I had gotten up too quickly.
"Let me guess, 'trying to unwind'? You're always doing that..." she made her way to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. "Are you ok? Do you want any water or anything? I think maybe you should just take it easy for the night."
"What I want, Tori.." I wanted to stop myself, but I was too drunk. "Is for you to enjoy yourself. Don't worry about me. Just go hang out with your friends or something. Why do you always stay home?"
"Why does it bother you so much?! I have better things to do than get shitfaced like you are right now! Sorry I at least try to be responsible and take care of my priorities."
She had started walking past me to go to her room and I had stopped her and just started hugging her, holding her tight. I felt so bad for her. I am not just saying this as her mother, or because she strongly resembles me, but she was a very pretty girl. I tried to motivate her to go to the gym to get more of a shapely body, but she never did. I even offered to go with her and she refused. I tried to get her to do sports, but it was never her cup of tea. She isn't a naturally brilliant person, but she is very dedicated to her studies, so I even tried taking to her about joining some clubs. I tried just about anything to get her to do something that would involve her to interact with people regularly. I think the more I pushed though, the more she resented it as an extremely shy girl. So, sometime in her sophomore year I sort of stopped pushing and let her do what she wanted. The signs were clear from the beginning, even in pre-k the teachers would write me notes on how she never interacted with other kids on her own accord. I didn't know how to solve this, since it was the polar opposite of me. I've tried reading books, consulting doctors, anything. It got to a point where I was reminding me of my own mother, who I resented myself for always trying to control my life. Perhaps I shouldn't have let up, but I got so involved with my work that I had to dedicate myself to that and didn't have much time for Tori during her formative years. We grew apart and it killed me. I thought I was being a good mom by letting her do stuff at her own pace while offering a helping hand whenever she asked for it. But I think it came off the wrong way, and whereas I resented my mom and dad for being too controlling, she resented me for not being a firmer presence in her life.
    I do think a lot of her shyness stems from her tiny 4'8" frame. She was always much smaller than practically everyone else. Often times, even than the kids a grade below her. Doctors didn't understand how me at 5'10", and her father at over 6 foot would have such a tiny kid. Perhaps it was a mutation? Or she had the genes from someone way down the ancestry? No, only I knew the truth on why she was so small. A truth I never even told her, and never intend to. There is really no need to. It's not something that affects her.
    "I just want you to have fun. You're young and so genuine, I hate seeing you so alone. Nowadays you have phones and all that shit, it's so much easier now to have friends and stay connected. You won't ever be this young and have so little to worry about again. I really do want you to enjoy your like and your youth like I couldn't."
"Like you couldn't?! Oh, because of me?! Is that why you couldn't?" She had pried herself from my grasp and started making her way back to her room. "I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN. I AM SO SORRY YOU HAD TO GIVE UP YOUR POPULAR LIFE TO BE MY POOR EXCUSE OF A MOTHER." Tori slammed her door shut, and I just slumped down on the footrest and began to cry. I was so angry, but not at her. She was right, although brutally. I was more angry at myself. I will be the first to admit I am very lucky in life. I didn't really work towards anything, and yet everything sort of falls into my lap. So why is it that the one thing I really worked towards, a relationship with my only daughter, the only person who really matters to me, has failed so badly?