Love At First Site

Falling In Love

So a few weeks after starting college, I walked into To maths I looked at James And for some reason I'm blushing I don't know why. I just talking to him while we waited for a teacher. He was being funny. For some reason while the teacher was talking I couldn't help but look at James. My heart would be racing. Every time he looked at me I would slam my face on the desk because I don't want him to know that I liked him. Only because he has a girlfriend, that's weird of another person likes him even though he's dating. So after class he asked me if I wanted I go with them because we all had the same lunch time but I said no then quickly diverted somewhere else. I overheard him saying "what's wrong with Lauren she's acting little bit different".  His friend Kathlen replied "I don't know I'll find out for you". I didn't want to tell them the truth. I don't know why I was so embarrassed maybe because he had a girlfriend already and I should let my feelings go. So I tried to ignore my feelings so much it ended up hurting. So I went to find my friend Becs and I told her how I felt. She told me "your going to have to just tell him how you feel and get it over and done with or hide your feelings let the pains haunt you". I don't know how to reply to her because I was so nervous and scared. After lunch I just went to English and I could not concentrate thinking about what Becs said to me. I did all my work anyway but I found it very difficult to concentrate. After college I just went straight home. The group chat that I was in with James, his girlfriend and friends kept trying to ring me but I wouldn't answer. I said to myself  "why should I answer I'm only going embarrass myself and they're going to find out that I like James and his girlfriend is going to kick off at me". They kept ringing and ringing in the end I had to answer. Everyone was like why are you being so quiet this is not you something up and we know. I never told them I tried to put a brave smile on. We end up playing on the PlayStation while we were talking to everyone. Then at dinner time my mum asked "is everything okay you seem a little down I don't know down". The only thing that I think of is "I'M FINE". She knew I wasn't fine by the tone of my voice. Mum then said" I know you're not fine by that attitude now tell me what's wrong". In the end I told her the truth that I liked James but has a girlfriend and as to what should I do. She's give me advice on how I should tell him without hurting him or his girlfriends feelings. Well I went to bed.  I don't know why I was dreaming about how me and James become the perfect couple. The next day I was thinking how I should tell James that I loved him but I couldn't it was too painful because he had somebody and I didn't wanna ruin that. So what I waited for him to get collage and we just kept chatting Internet is time for us to both go to class. Class we were cooking vegetable soup with home-made bread rolls. The teaching assistant in my class can ask if I was okay. She said "Lauren you looking little distracted." All I can reply backward was "I'm fine there's nothing wrong, how does my soup look." My teacher and my teaching assistant thought I did  accident job. Now it was lunchtime I looked around to see if any of my friends were there but nobody was, all I can see was James out the corner of my eye. I tried to walk out of the lunchroom as quickly as I could so he didn't see me.