From Beginning to End

Chapter 6: Lily Knows

Severus did apologize, but not until after a week. Yes, a whole entire week. But nevertheless Lily forgave him. She felt she had to since he was not only her first friend in the wizarding world, but also her best friend over all. Besides, she was past the whole ordeal. She had more important things on her mind.

She had briefly stumbled across the concept of Lycanthropy one day while reading in the library and that had sparked all sorts of ideas. It all sort of made sense to her. Remus' sudden disappearances at random times each month that just so happened to fall on or around the full moon, the reemergence of scars after each disappearance, and his increased irritability and fatigue around those times. It all added up; Remus was suffering from Lycanthropy. Remus Lupin was a werewolf.

However, she knew that there was nothing she could do or say to help. Remus obviously wanted to keep that part of himself secret which was completely understandable in Lily's eyes. He would surely get kicked out of Hogwarts if the secret got out. It was no wonder he looked so anxious all the time.

She wished Remus trusted her enough to tell her, but knew it wasn't so much a matter of trust as it was a matter of how people would view him. She was sure many people would be scared to have a werewolf sharing their living quarters, especially with the stigma surrounding them.

Hopefully one day that stigma could be torn down but for now it was what it was. Maybe, Lily thought with determination, she could help change the view on Lycanthropy one step at a time.

She was still thinking about this as the weeks bled into October. Lily spent much of her free time sitting in the library with a third year Defense Against the Dark Arts book opened to page 394. The text taught her more about Lycanthropy, about what her friend was going through.

During one such time, Remus and Peter entered the library, crinkled parchment and an assortment of quills in hand. They took a seat beside her.

Peter immediately got back to work on the parchment, chewing his lip and staining his palm with ink. He whispered excitedly to himself, quill scratching amongst the parchment in quick, deliberate strokes.

Meanwhile, Remus' curiosity got the best of him, his eyes scanning what she was reading.

Lily noticed immediately. Not wanting to upset her friend, she jumped up and slammed the book.

"H-hey Remus! Wotcher?"

Lily wasn't fast enough though, Remus had seen the page. The page that detailed how to not only recognize werewolves, but also how to kill them. How to kill him...

His heart was hammering in his chest. Did Lily know? Was the friendship he'd so carefully crafted worth nothing? Would he be packing his trunk in a few short hours? He wasn't ready to go home. Hogwarts was wonderful. There was an acceptance here he'd never felt before. Leaving would break everything.

He realized that Lily was still staring at his expectantly wanting her question answered.

"Erm- just doing research for my potions essay. What about you?"

She looked at him, face flushing from nerves. "Just extra reading..."

Remus for some reason didn't want to let it go at that though. If she had figured it out, he wanted her to tell him. If she was going to judge him, pull at his secrets he held so closely, it might as well be out in the open now. 

"About werewolves?" 

"Yeah. It's all really interesting don't you think?"

"I wouldn't say having your bones broken apart, feeling every tendon snap, and slowly losing control of yourself every full moon is exactly 'interesting' but sure."