|| Status: Online || Chanlix ||

-.,'~' 7 '~',.-

❕ +💠

He knew the park Felix was talking about. His heart started racing. Could he see Felix... without the screen? See his talent in real-time? The thought was uncanny. Chan? See Felix? He couldn't hold his excitement in. He didn't even have to tell Felix about it. He could go and hide amongst the crowd, without having to worry about stuttering all over his words and melting into an embarrassed puddle. 

"Oh me god, oh my god, oh my GOD!" Chan said, overexcited. Why was he getting so hyped up about this? He didn't think about it, but boy was he happy! "I could go see F-Felix... In real life... not online.. and he doesn't have to notice! Would that.... be creepy though?" Wait.. was this too much? Felix may have told him where the performance was being held but... what made him think that would be an invitation?

The feeling of joy Chan had was seeping away. Would Felix not like him? Is he not enough? He has so much talent, but Chan only makes songs. Would Felix even be happy to see him? He sat on the bed. Suddenly, Chan was having those memories come back to him. 

Those terrible, terrible memories.

"Hey, look at me." The person grabbed Chan's chin, forcing him to look at his face. Another day, another bully. He was used to it. Hell, he didn't even care what happened to him at this point. He never paid attention to the bullies' names, never cared to remember. "Hah, look at him! Is chan gonna cry? I thought he was a big boy! But look, he's just a baby!" The bully threw him to the ground. Kicked him in the stomach, over... and over... and over again... Why wouldn't anyone stop it? It hurt... No one liked him enough to care... He had no talent... no good grades... not even a pretty face... nothing...

He was... useless. In his eyes and everyone else's. Nothing but a mere piece of gum left on a sidewalk. Only causing people annoyance, and throwing him to the side. Suddenly, he felt the pain in his stomach stop a bit. The bully had stopped kicking him. Chan didn't look at him. "Hah, useless loser." The bully said, spitting on him and walking away. 

No one liked him.

He was a loser.

"A useless loser..." he mumbled to himself. 

He cried, but without any emotions. He had run out of those. It was more like his body reacting to his pain, both emotional and physical. But he didn't agree with it. So he just blankly stared at the wall in front of him, tears rapidly falling down his cheeks as he repeated the phrase,

"Useless... Loser... Useless... Loser..."

Chan cried, mumbling those same words to himself. It was true, in his eyes. Why was he like this? He was awoken from his trance by Changbin, patting his shoulder. He flinched as soon as he realized he was being touched. "B-bad touch...." Chan mumbled. It felt like he was back in his school years. Was Changbin going to turn on him now? Beat him up? Was Jisung going to join him? He knew it. They only pretended to like him. Fake. Everything is fake. No one would ever like him. Why would he think anyone would?

"Chan..."

Chan turned his head, shaking a bit, looking at Changbin. He had a worried expression on his face. 

"Chan-hyung, it's okay, I'm not gonna do anything."

Chan was calming down at the familiar voice. His breathing slowed down. When had it even sped up?

Changbin hugged the older, earning another flinch. But followed by a shaky, but a relaxed breath of relief.

After a few "It's okay"s and hugs, chan was better after a while. "Hah... I'm sorry for.... troubling you, Changbin... That wasn't very.......... hyung-like of me...." Chan said, pulling away from the hug and wiping his tears.