2 (jaylor) ethereal daylight and golden epiphanies

chapter two.

She got changed into a singlet and shorts in her dressing room, tying her hair in a pony tail. It was still so odd to her that she could walk around in a singlet and not hate every inch of her skin. Her scars had faded into nothing but pale white lines now, and half the time she didn't even remember they were there. Of course there was always those times where she felt like she had to hurt herself to make everything feel better, but she'd been able to tell herself not to do that. She was a stronger woman than she was the last time she'd been in this stadium.
She put on a hat to shield her from the sun, checked to make sure she looked alright in her outfit once more, and headed out to practice the blocking and microphones.

Joe was in their hotel room, getting Meredith and Olivia settled with water and food. He couldn't believe how incredible Taylor was. She was glowing on this trip, he was so proud of her.
"Hang on a second," Joe laughed as Meredith almost knocked over the cat food. "I'll feed you in a minute!" Meredith meowed in response.
Their hotel room was so nice, and he decided that he'd get Taylor's pyjamas out of her suitcase and put them on her pillow, because she'd be tired by the time she got home.
He chuckled when he saw all of her clothes that she'd crammed into the suitcase. He loved her so much. He shook his head, laughing as he finally found her pyjamas. They were buried at the very bottom, under all of her shoes.
He was about to zip it back up again, when Olivia decided that she was going to sit right on top of it.
These cats had as much of a personality as Taylor did - he thought it was so funny that sometimes they actually reminded him of her.

Taylor was running through the choreography for I Think He Knows, when she saw Joe sit down with her Mom. A smile fell onto her face immediately, and she gave him a big wave while she continued dancing. This was going to be her favourite tour yet, she knew that already. She felt like it represented exactly where she was in her life at the moment, a place of sparkles, of glitter and gold.
That's where she felt she was now - in the daylight, and she wanted her fans to see that too. Reputation had been all dark and shadows, and she didn't like thinking about it because she didn't want to be reminded of how unhappy she'd been. Lover was the polar opposite of Reputation.

She had four hours to hang about in the changing room, where she was lying with her head in Joe's lap. Her parents were talking on arm chairs, and her and Joe were talking about what they were going to do tomorrow.
Taylor was trying to keep herself busy so that she didn't worry about what she had to do, all the things that she had to get right tonight. She couldn't met herself think about all the things that she had to do - it had to be perfect. She knew that she'd feel crushed if something didn't go right.
"I have a surprise for you," Joe smiled down at her as he checked his phone. She sat up immediately, grinning.
"What is it?" Joe had surprised her with different things a lot recently, but that didn't take away any of her excitement about it. Both of them loved to surprise each other - Taylor had often come home with little gifts for him. Sometimes it was just a coffee, or food, other times she'd gotten him more exciting gifts.
"You'll have to wait a few minutes - I have to go and get hi- I mean it from the gate." Joe kissed her temple as he got up. "I'll be back in a bit."
"Joe, what is it?" Taylor laughed. She was about to complain, but he cut her off with a kiss. He was laughing against her lips, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Pleaseeee..."
"No! I'll be back in a minute! I can't leave the surprise waiting outside!" He tickled her and she laughed, letting go.
He left and Taylor was left still feeling his golden touch aglow on her skin.

It really was going to be an unforgettable tour.
Joe came back a few minutes later, and he peeked his head around the door.
"Are you ready?"
Taylor laughed, telling him that she was ready. She didn't even know what to expect.
Joe opened the door, and walking in behind him, was Patrick.

Taylor and Patrick had become so close over the past year, they'd text and phone each other all the time. Patrick was genuinely the most funny and caring person she'd ever met. Joe had told her how much he appreciated that she was giving him the time of day, and Taylor had laughed, saying that she didn't have a choice now - Patrick was one of her best friends. If you put the two of them in the room together, you'd be lucky if they ever stopped laughing.
"Patrick!" Taylor shrieked, jumping up and giving him a huge hug. He'd been to New York twice in the year, and Taylor and Joe had been over to England once. There was no one else on the planet that made her laugh like Patrick did.
Patrick held her tightly, and they both laughed.
"What are you doing here?!" Taylor exclaimed. "I thought you were-"
"It was all a lie!" Patrick laughed. "I couldn't have you performing your first concert of this tour without me! Who else would make you laugh right up until you get up on stage?"
Taylor turned to Joe, an arm still wrapped around Patrick. "Did you know about this?!"
"We sorted it out together. Patrick told me he wanted to come, and we arranged it."
"So the two of you were lying when you said that-"
"It wasn't a lie... okay, well it was a lie... but I didn't want to ruin the surprise!" Patrick told her. "I even brought a shimmery shirt to wear," he raised an eyebrow. "You'd better watch out, Swift. I might steal the show away."
"Uh, Patrick, you know just as well as I do, that wouldn't be possible." Joe laughed.
"When did you get here?" Taylor asked, sitting back down on the couch, Joe and Patrick on either side of her.
"I literally got off the plane and came right here."
"You did? You must be tired..."
"No way! I'm not tired at all!" Patrick laughed. She leaned her head on Joe's shoulder, lacing her fingers through his.
"I'm really glad you're here." Taylor smiled. "And I can't wait to see that shirt."

The nerves were beginning to creep in a little bit as she paced backstage. She had said goodbye to Joe, her dad and Patrick half an hour ago, and they were standing in the area in front of the stage she'd reserved for them.
She'd had a lovely afternoon, and Patrick had most definitely distracted her from stressing about perfection. She loved being with Patrick, his company always made her smile. He reminded her a lot of Austin - particularly when they were younger. She could do this. She was wearing the bracelet Joe gave her for Christmas last year, and she held it with her other hand, fiddling with it. She could do this. Joe had been telling her that all afternoon, told her that as she had been getting ready, and told her as he'd kissed her good luck.

Her mom was standing at her side. "Are you alright there?"
"Yes." Taylor sighed. "Just nervous about getting everything right. I don't want to disappoint anyone."
"Taylor, they're here to see you. They don't care if you play the wrong chords, sing the wrong words or dance the wrong moves." Her mom pulled her in for a hug. "They're here to just be... with you. You've made mistakes on stage before and you've survived. Remember when you played the wrong tune during on of your shows in Reputation? You laughed it off. That's all you have to do now. Laugh it off and make a joke out of it. I know that you can do this, honey!" Her mom kissed her cheek. "You just have to believe that you can too."
Taylor nodded, as her stage manager handed her the microphone. She could do this. She'd go out there and perform, and then she'd come backstage to Joe, Patrick and her family. She could totally do this. She loved performing. She knew that she would absolutely thrive the minute she got in front of the crowd.

She took a deep breath as she hugged her mom one last time, before she was lead towards the stage.
She could do this. She'd come so far from the person she was a year ago. They person she was a year ago never could have done this. She never could've worn this outfit - knowing that people were going to make comments about the weight she'd put on. But she sparkled. She was wearing a sparkly pink one piece, and she truly dazzled as she walked across to the stage.
She could do this.
She knew that she could. So much had happened to her since the last tour, that she knew she could do this.

So, she took a deep breath, listened to the beat, closed her eyes for a second, and smiled. She walked onto the stage, her microphone at her lips, and she felt alive. She loved this - seeing her fans lighting up an arena, in their costumes and the atmosphere was something that couldn't be reached anywhere else.
She stopped at the middle of the stage, hearing her fans deafening screams, and she didn't even need to force a smile. She could faintly see the box where her family were waiting, and knew that Joe would be there, watching her shine.

She'd chosen I Forgot That You Existed as the first track for obvious reasons. The song could be applied to any of the people that had hurt her in any way. This was the first tour where she was playing the music that she owned. This was the first tour that she didn't have Karlie attending in that box where Patrick, Joe and her parents were standing. The first tour in a while where she didn't have to cover up her arms, or hide bruises. This was the first tour that projected how golden she really felt.

Everything fell into place as she started to sing, as the fans started singing with her, as she got more comfortable with the stage.
It was second nature to her, and she was so proud of the woman she'd become.
Standing in the crowd of thousands, she was sure that she could see the woman she used to be, watching her. Watching with tears in her eyes because Taylor had turned into everything that she had wanted to be.

Because here she was. Short sleeves, sparkles and sequins, in front of a crowd, in front of her lover, and she was glowing. She was golden. Not a single person in the stadium could deny it - she was an incandescent figure, inside and out.