Fratricide

Mary's False Prophesy?

     The decision was made to meet with the best attorney in Dallas.  He was well known for his representation of others on customs issues. He also covered everything from murder to immigration issues. He knew these guys well. He told me point blank, this was bad. Everything Sherry told me was true and worse.   He said after speaking to the federal prosecutors office, this was a felony and held a minimum 10 year prison term with up to 25 years if found guilty. There are no options for "deals" as the law was very clear for this level of offense.  Oh, by the way he said ”please be sure to drop off the $25,000 retainer at the door before you leave."

I was in utter silence. Tears filled my stoic face. It was real, yet it all felt so unreal at the same time.  All at once, everything bad that could happen, was happening.  How could a God fearing, middle class married female of a U.S. Army officer, mother of two, be diagnosed with cancer, raided, charged of a 3rd degree felony and now robbed of every last dollar both metaphorically and literally within 2 weeks flat? Simple, the devil. He was shooting those fiery arrows at me by the dozen.

Knowing no other way, I relented to let my husband made the command decision.  We laid out all the cards, and the few choices we had.  He had be empty the bank account and make the retainer.  We were prepared for battle. A war at home.  Richard was set to return to Iraq. I could not bear "starting over" the deployment. The Army rules stated if they permitted him to take a full leave of this deployment, would make him start over on another one the following year. We already had invested so much time and pain with the pre-deployment, it was time to let him go back, and finish this.  The attorney expected we could stave off the trial for at least 8 months.  So it made sense.

Medically, I could not bear having him return to a hormonally messed up wife and with all that was coming at us, I needed to just get by at this point, so I decided to only do the minimum.  If I had only a 5% chance it would work and I would get a clearance, so be it. It was worth the odds, no matter how little chance it was. There was a chance.  We made arrangements for the surgery the following week. I flew the boys to stay with a Great Aunt and Uncle in North Carolina for the 2 week healing period. Let the games begin...

The surgery went as expected.  My family lived nearby and some friends, a nurse and fellow officer who had completed a recent deployment overseas, the Henson's, took me to and from the hospital. I stayed overnight and was ready to be released.  There was great pain, and I was unable to walk for almost the entire first week. It was unbearable.  The kids were having a great time fortunately, but when the doctor called, I was so anxious, I could barely breathe.  He said while the surgery went well, unfortunately, we did not get a clearance, I would need radiation and possibly chemo, in addition to a full hysterectomy. UGH. How? I put all my faith into this, I prayed, I called in every last Christian I knew, explaining the little I could, but simply requested prayers.  I knew God would save me from all this, but how?  I knew I had to be strong, read the bible more, and continue to raise the shield of faith more. 

Richard and I always leaned on our faith, but never before had it ever been tested to this extent.  The Catholic school my boys attended in a small nearby town was very supportive. Our church was wonderful, so we just maintained that the devils fiery darts would just keep coming and we would keep fighting with the word of the Lord on our tongue and the shield of faith.

Richard more so than I was delving deep into the bible, into scripture.  Being in the Middle East, in the land where Jesus walked and Abraham's well resided, he was defiant in his belief God would get us through this.  Our conversations were now one of stress and constant fighting almost. It was harder each time he called to not be frustrated.  I felt as if he was attacking me, his accusations began with my faith must have faltered for this to happen to us. Why was this Customs guy so into me? I never ate right and didn't take care of myself. It was constant and I felt very alone. I saw a side of him I had never seen. He was almost obsessive with the bible, with his belief, with all of it to the point it was dangerous for us, destructive.  I already harbored so much guilt, these were the same questions I asked myself. Yet, I had no answers for. 

The next day I had brought the kids back and it was time to get back into school, a heart wrenching comment was made to me by the religious teacher, Ms. Mary.  She had a big heart. She often spoke so deep and true to me I knew it was the word of God.  She stopped me in the hall, smiled and said, you know, last night I was praying, and I want you to know, you will be blessed with another child soon...WHAT? Is this some cruel kind of joke? I had not told anyone at the school what we were dealing with. No one. 

In 5 years I had no more children, why now did she think one was coming soon? Richard was deployed, not much of a chance there. Oh yeah, the fact I was told after this surgery that there would be almost no chance for any more children, so yank the rest out to be safe from the big "C" that has attacked you. Well, I broke at that point, with not just sarcasm, but tears, publically.  Two other teachers were standing there when she said it, seemed so pleased with the prophesy, that I simply could not allow a moment of the false statement to take hold. I told them then and there "There is no chance, I have cervical cancer and just pretty much sealed my motherhood fate with surgery the other week and more on the horizon, so take that back to God when you talk to him, I think you got a delayed message, the kids I am having, are already here."

They were in disbelief, and yet so soft and kind.  one hugged me, but for Mary, it was as if I never said those words, she patted me on the back matter of factly, "Well, you will remain in my prayers and when that baby comes, be sure to give that child a wonderful and holy name because God does have a plan, and it involves another baby for your family. " She turned, and walked away.

Humpf, really...nice.  I now have a bunch of crazy’s on baby watch, if Sarah can do it at 100+ years old, why can't I do it all barren and cancer stricken. Great.  What more can I possibly be dealt...

**VOTE NOW! Share with facebook and wattpad groups. Thank you!